WOW!

Sometimes I’m just not “good at this.”

I’ve been on the roller coaster ride that can be DIABETES!  For the last week, I’ve been plagued with cravings. It started last Tuesday when I decided to join a friend for lunch in a diner.  I asked for a to-go box and immediately put half of my food in it for later or for the next day.  Good start, right? 🙂

We had a great lunch. Talked and talked — solving the problems of the world.  🙂

And then it happened.  The waiter approached us and asked if we’d like dessert.  Almost ALWAYS I say, “no thank you.”  So what caused me to cave on this day?   😦   I asked him what the selection was, but that wasn’t good enough. I had to go over to the cases wherein the delectable delights resided. As usual, they were screaming — “Kathy, pick me, pick me!”  After a process of elimination, I chose a mile-high chocolate cream pie.  Oh, the absurdity.  I almost took a picture of the pie, when I realized that I was elevating it to deity status!  Definitely going over the edge, I considered taking another dessert home for later.  Ugh.  I didn’t do it.

I ate every morsel of that pie and on the way home allowed remorse to seep into my being. By the time I pulled into my driveway, I was miserable. After an hour, I started to feel sick — nauseous.  WHY did I do that to myself?  It never fails. Each and every time I make a BAD decision, regarding food, I slip into an abyss of misery.  The rest of that day was a waste. I couldn’t think of anything positive to do to reclaim my happiness. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.

Wednesday morning, I got up bright and early and walked.  THIS will be a good day.  The bank, the Post Office, food shopping took up my morning.  I only had half an hour before yoga, so NO time for lunch. I’ll eat later; that’ll be fine.  DUCK!  Here it comes — driving to my yoga class, I pulled into a 7-11 and purchased a really healthy snack — not one, TWO candy bars!  I downed them in the true fashion of a sugar addict — FAST!

Fifteen minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot of Absolute Yoga in Woodbury for my class, feeling angry with myself.  Really disgusted.  I confessed my “downfall” to my teacher.  She’s terrific, and we talked about it.  I KNOW every single thing she mentioned, but was unable to put it into practice at that time.  The good news is that our conversation, coupled with a great session of yoga, put me back on track.

Trust me — it hasn’t been easy.  The cravings are still torturing me, but I have more strength, for now — one day at a time.  My refrigerator is stocked, so that when a craving strikes, I have sugar-free Jello on hand, along with fruit and nuts.  I’m ready!  Also, walking in the morning is helping to start off the day on good footing.

The CURE for self-pity is gratitude.  I have so much to be grateful for — I have Type 2 Diabetes; BIG DEAL!  It could be a LOT worse, and I’m grateful that it’s not.

I’m DEDICATED to winning each battle and to have a good and healthy life.

COMMITTED — one day at a time!