Imagine my excitement! Maybe not… WHY can’t I seem to get it together?
I’ve been a Type2 diabetic for a long time. There have been periods of UP’s which have been motivating, and then there are those segments of time that have been
D
O
W
N!
You might have decided that the one where I presently “reside” is DOWN. You’d be correct. I thought about it, talked about it, wrote about it, but ALAS — no solution.
About a year ago, maybe longer, I bought a journal that was designed specifically to monitor one’s glucose. I started out with a BANG — and ended with a whimper. I’ve given this dilemma another “look see” recently and have decided that part of the problem is perfectionism. 🙂 Pretty funny as I am acutely aware that I am far from perfect. I have recognized, though, that when I start something, and I don’t continue religiously, I get aggravated at myself and toss whatever it is aside.
(Within my head, there’s a battle — much screaming and yelling — “GROW UP, JUST DO IT, BLAH, blah.). Finally, I put a stop to it and get back on the (proverbial) wagon.
The holidays are upon us — soon! That is a time that’s difficult for all diabetics. I’ve decided to go into “training.” Seriously, I’ve begun logging my numbers, food, steps. Trust me, I’m NOT happy about it, but I’m doing it anyway. 😦
HAHAHAHA! Sounds good, doesn’t it? I’m working BIG TIME on getting it ALL together; but, truth be told, I’m not there yet!
I’m going to give you a great blog to check out. It’s Bill at “Simply Living Over 50” — it’s a WordPress blog. He IS doing exactly what I WANT to do, and he makes it look easy. Bill is a T2D who works seriously on everything that that entails. My apologies. I can’t seem to get the actual link. GRRRR. Just google Bill’s blog. I think you’ll find it as informative and well-written as I have.
This will be short, because it’s 4:42 p.m., and I’m going out to walk. I texted a friend at 7:30 a.m. those same words. Did I do it? NO! I’m so out of whack, it’s not even funny. I told a friend last night that all things healthy are definitely NOT happening in my life. Let’s face it, they don’t just “happen.” We have to make them happen!
I’m a member of a family “Slim Down Challenge” Facebook page. Ugh. It’s torture. I don’t want to do it. My goal has been a miserable 8,000 steps per day. That’s NOT a lot! Last night I walked around my house for about 20 minutes to make it to my goal by midnight. It was 11:45! The good news is that I made it in time.
When I say I’m out of whack, I mean everything: my food, my blood sugar, my water intake, sleep habits, my attitude. What a MESS! But, it will all be put into order by the end of next week. I SWEAR!!!
Watch me — I’ll keep you posted. (That’s a pun. Get it? “posted” — Blog…)
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Okay! I’m off. leaving the house with 1150 steps. Proof I did nothing today that didn’t require sitting. Pathetic. I know. But, here we go, folks. Buckle up!
I hate it when people say, “Life just got in the way…” Nonsense! I LET it drag me in other directions. It’s called PROCRASTINATION. I could make excuses all day long, but in the end, procrastination reigned.
Why would I put off writing my blog? I LOVE to write! I HATE diabetes, though, so writing about it, became an issue. I asked myself, Why? I’ve been doing it for years! Does the “WHY” really matter at this point? I’ve decided that, “NO, it does NOT matter.” I’m moving on.I’m back to being “one” with my T2D. I let my routines get out of hand and of course you know what that means. (Dive into a vat of chocolate!)
I have the best doctor on the planet — she’s amazing! I went a couple of weeks ago for my 3-month diabetes check up. She looked at my numbers, and said, “WHAT have you been doing?” I responded, “eating.” She gave me that over the glasses look. “Well, I’ve been eating everything that’s not nailed down. I actually walked into a bakery — ME in a bakery! It wasn’t pretty.” She had a one word response: “Why?” I told her that, “evidently, I’m a stress eater.” She rolled her eyes, letting me know that — we knew that. Stress has always been a trigger. We talked about what was stressing me out,and how to best handle the issue. What she didn’t do was make me feel worse. Instead, she encouraged me to get back on track, write what I’m eating, and note my blood sugar before and after meals, and WALK. “You can do this,” were her parting words. I left her office feeling better.
I was in a funk, so my new found optimism was rapidly sliding down. The good news is I didn’t let it take control. I went food shopping WITH a list, went home and promised myself that the funk will not take control again. I am addicted to sugar, so one of the first things I did when I got home, was to make some sugar-free Raspberry Jello. It helps when the craving gets bad. I’d bought fish — flounder stuffed with crabmeat, swordfish, and salmon. I love fresh lemon squeezed over the fish. I divided my treasure into portions and froze them. I’ll be fine — One Day at a Time.
The most important step that I took, was getting back to writing my blog. Writing is cathartic and when I get responses, I feel uplifted.
Oh! Humor is good too. It gets those endorphins pumping. 🙂
Good luck with your diabetic journey. You’ll be hearing from me soon. XOXO to all of you who are working hard and sending good vibes to those of you who are not. We’ve all been there,
Yesterday was a real “treat!” We arrived at my niece and nephew’s home to celebrate their daughter’s graduation — You could smell the sugar emanating from the desserts that covered the table — the VERY LARGE table. I swear, every leaf was used to extend the length of it, and every inch was filled with a confectionary. Brownies, cookies, and pies — OH MY! It was a killer to this T2D sugar addict.
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I’m serious. Every inch. The obligatory graduation cake was the centerpiece, surrounded by more desserts than I could count. Of course, the brownies called my name, and I didn’t hesitate. Actually, I didn’t hesitate — TWICE! Luckily, they were cut into a reasonable size, which helped to alleviate my guilt. Somehow, a homemade chocolate chip cookie found it’s way into my mouth. How does that happen? 🙂 Okay, I know how it gets there. By the way, there was a bowl of fruit on the table. It was colorful, but didn’t “catch my attention…” Carbs reigned!
Photo by Trang Doan on Pexels.com
This was to be a low key gathering, just dessert, coffee, etc., so we stopped at a diner and caught a bite, before going — just a sandwich, no big deal.
I planned my eating for the day, so I was careful not to munch before leaving home. It was fine. It could’ve been a LOT worse, but gone are those days. Thank you God!
I’ve been doing THIS for a long time! You’d thing going out for dinner wouldn’t be a big deal. Ha! MOST OF THE TIME, it isn’t, but if I’m in a funk, I tend to want to eat dessert first —- life is short, after all… When I’m okay (thinking positively), it’s not a problem. Then, there are those days when I convince myself that I’m making much ado about nothing.
“SUGAR BEAST”
Truth. It’s NOT nothing. T2D is not a joke, not something to be dismissed. So, in as much as I want to let that evil Sugar Beast in, I’m NOT going to. Evil *!@#!***
I really think that waaaay back, when I was first diagnosed, I convinced myself that I’d handle this “diabetes nonsense” and move on with my life. How naive was I? I knew then, and I still am acutely aware that Type 2 Diabetes is here to stay, and the harder I fight it, the worse I feel.
I used the word feel, because it isn’t only a physical issue, it’s also an emotional one. That’s the hardest part for me. I’m definitely a “stress eater,” My emotions send my appetite into high gear, when life hits the fan.
We all have choices! For me, making a conscious decision to choose wisely is where it all starts. I need to:
STOP —- Slow down and get a grip
THINK —-What outcome do I want from my decision?
BREATHE —-Deep breaths are imperative in order to stop and think before making an important decision.
Yes, eating that piece of cake is an important choice. It’s trivial to non-diabetics, but for me, it’s imperative to do the right thing. Most of the time, choosing to have dessert is not the end of the world (in my case), but importantly, I don’t want that decision to be the one that sends me over the cliff.
Seriously. I’ve been able to treat my diabetes with diet, exercise, and one medication. Pretty good, I’m told. Here’s the thing — making a lifestyle out of eating the wrong things, lack of exercise, and failing to take my medication properly, WILL send me on the road to insulin. I don’t want that!
I don’t consider taking a little more insulin, or an extra pill, will make it okay for any diabetic to “cheat” on decisions regarding food choices. That’s a game I don’t want to play because, I know that I won’t come out the winner. I’m VERY competitive. If it’s between me and diabetes —- trust me, I’LL WIN! I’ll succeed each and every day, by using the tools that I have.
Lately, I’ve been having difficulty with food choices. Ugh, it’s a killer. But, I’m living one day at a time, one choice at a time, and relief is on it’s way. I feel it. That cloud is starting to lift, if ever so slowly. I’m fighting to be able to follow the healthy road I’ve chosen for myself.
No need to rush —- slowly, carefully, I’m getting back on track. I CAN DO IT — and so can you.
“Normally,” I go online to the restaurants website to check out the menu, so that I won’t “browse” when I get there. Unfortunately, I don’t have time for that; in a hurry.
“Normally,” I make sure that I eat a healthy snack, between lunch and leaving for the restaurant.
“Normally,” I make sure to down a big ol’ glass of H2O, before leaving.
Downing the water now.
Obviously, my “preparation” wasn’t terrific — but, the water should fill me up, to the extent that I’m not ravenous!
Now that that’s out of the way, I’ll get back to Type 2 Diabetes. Every day is different, but today it was a royal pain in the ass. I’m working my way back to really good management — and it sucks.
The good news is I’m not giving up:
Back to walking the mall — too hot outside.
Drinking my brains out — water, that is.
Monitoring my blood sugar — damn glucometer.
Eating properly — no matter how that miserable sugar beast tries to creep in!
Ugh. Life doesn’t just “get in the way;” we LET it happen. (At least, that’s what I think.)
So during the month’s that I was otherwise involved, I wasn’t writing. A+ was not a grade that I earned in Diabetes 101, during that time. It wasn’t pretty — evidently, I’m a stress eater.
I admit it — I caved. Damn those cravings! SUGAR = addictive.
The good news is I’m back on track. Part of my “relationship” with Type 2 Diabetes, is my belief that every day is Day 1.
Made it through the Valentine torture — you know what I mean! EVERYWHERE you go those damn red hearts follow. Filled with those delicious candies. Ugh.
I tried to convince myself that the boxes are heart-shaped for a reason, and that reason is to remind me to take good care of my heart! For the most part, I was pretty successful. For instance, if I have to pick up a prescription, I go through the drive-up window. It’s the only sane thing to do. The minute I walk into Walgreens, the chocolate attacks me — it’s everywhere! So, I don’t go in.
Now, here we are again — chocolate bunnies wherever I look. Torture to this Type 2 diabetic. Just one won’t kill you, I tell myself. HA! When did I ever eat one of anything? It’s over tomorrow. Then there will be no more chocolate bunnies stalking me.
I can do it!
Happy Easter and Happy Passover to all! Good luck.
Diary of a Dedicated Diabetic 