Here’s My Chance…

Sunday, November 6, 2016

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Turning the clock back and, with the extra hour in the morning, I’m hoping to get my sleep schedule on track. I’d love to say, “BACK on track,” but that wouldn’t be truthful. My sleep patterns/habits are horrendous — I’m a night owl. I’ve tried to change that for years, but to no avail.

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Going to bed at a decent time is the most difficult part for me. As an adult, I’ve always gone to bed after midnight. My sleep pattern is usually somewhere between 3 to 5 hours, if I’m lucky. I’ve tried developing a routine; i.e., early to bed, early to rise… A cup of hot caffeine-free tea, a dull book, meditation, a warm bath, ocean sounds,  DSCN0467a mist of lavender spray, or a warm shower before bed. I’ve set the alarm for an early hour, with the plan of starting my day with a walk. Up and at ’em, is what I’ve attempted. “Attempted” is the operative word. Attempted, but with little or no success.  😦

ANY SUGGESTIONS? Do you have the same issue?   IMG_4369

WHY is this so important to me???  I believe that sleep, or the lack thereof, effects everything — including diabetes.

So, with that in mind, this Type 2 Diabetic is off to bed. Wish me luck!

 

 

“Slipped” on the ice…

O.K., maybe not on the ice.  I “slipped” on some cookies  😦

I went to the doctor for my 3-month Diabetes checkup today.  Everything was great. No surprise to me — I’ve been eating correctly, monitoring my blood sugar, and walking.  Things have been looking up!  She was happy, I was happy.

So, why is it that when I went to the store to get ice melt (FREEZING here in the northeast),  I came out with JUNK?  Why, why, why?  AND, why didn’t I take out my Grapefruit Oil and smell it, in an effort to avoid the craving.  WHY?????

UGH, SO frustrating.

Driving home, I never gave a thought as to what I’d purchased.  When I started to put the items away, that’s when the realization smacked me RIGHT IN THE FACE!  I was really upset and disappointed in myself.  But evidently, not enough to toss the cookies and those cheddar crackers that I like so much into the garbage.  Nope — I had 4 — count ’em, 4 chocolate chip cookies and a small bowl of the crackers.  Truth? They tasted great!  That was around three o’clock. By 4, the carb coma took over, and I had a “nap.”   When I woke up, dinner time was approaching, and naturally I wasn’t hungry. The rest of the night brought misery — you know the deal.  Remorse, embarrassment, anger, blah, blah, blah.

“Get a grip, Kathy!” I yelled at myself.  That’s when I tossed “Satan’s food” into the garbage.  Guilt:  “There are people starving in this world, and you’re throwing out food?” Phrases such as this ran through my head.  Thankfully, my answer was a resounding YES!  Guilt is a wasted emotion, negative and hurtful. There’s no positive purpose in feeling guilty. I’m over it!

It’s kind of interesting how the brain works.  I seem to crave sugar if I’m down, bored, hungry; but also, when I’m “up,” — like today.  I was happy that all was well in my diabetes realm, so I guess I let my guard down.  Lesson Learned!

It’s 11 p.m. now, and I’ll be going to bed soon with the knowledge that tomorrow will be another Day One.  I’ll get up, eat breakfast, go to the mall — and walk, walk, walk. The good news is that I’m confident that tomorrow will be a good day.  I’ve already written two post-its that I’m going to put on the dashboard of my car.  One is a reminder; it simply says, GRAPEFRUIT! to remind me not to “slip,” and to use the tools I have.  Written on the other post-it is one word:  NO! Also, a simple reminder.

At the end of each day, I reflect on what took place during the course of my day that was positive and what was negative.  I’ll review my “slip,” learn from it, and then I’ll let it go. Tomorrow’s another day in the life of this dedicated diabetic, and it’s going to be a GOOD one.

 

Be On Guard!

The other day I completed a ton of chores and on the way home I decided to stop at the deli.  I love their Light Vegi Tuna (very little mayo; perfect for lunch).  Of course, there was a line, so I focused on what I was getting — nothing else.

As I waited on line, my eyes wandered into a basket of homemade baked goods.  A brownie topped by the crumbs of a crumb cake, drenched in confectioners sugar, caught my eye.  Interesting.  Seriously, I’ve never see that before.  My “crazy self” screamed, Buy it — try it — one isn’t going to kill you.  Along came the guy with my tuna.  “Anything else, ma’am?”  “No thanks, I’m good,” came out of my mouth.  And then, my hand inched its way over to the basket of goodies.  “Wait, I’ll take one of these.” Money exchanged hands — similar to a drug deal…  I took my small bag and drove home, not giving a thought to what I’d just done.

Once in the house, I removed the tuna and the brownie/crumb cake from the brown paper bag.  I still can’t believe what I did.  I put the tuna in the refrigerator and the brownie on a plate.  I sat down at my dining room table, read the newspaper, and ate the brownie. When I was done, I looked up, much like an alcoholic coming out of a stupor, and thought, What did I do?  It was pretty amazing.  I don’t even LIKE crumb cake, and frankly, I couldn’t tell you what the brownie tasted like.  I paid no attention while I was eating. I likened myself to an alcoholic in a blackout, I barely remembered eating it — I swear, it was really strange. I felt awful; remorse took over.  I yelled at myself, vowing never to let my guard down again. Physically, I felt like garbage, not unlike the junk I had ingested.  All this over a brownie! I took a nap. 

Hindsight is a great thing.  I knew better, but I did it anyway.  I went into that deli hungry — bad decision. I let my guard down. When it comes to food, I realize that I need structure. Planning is the key to success, and I certainly didn’t do it that day. For the most part, my failures regarding my diabetes regimen are centered around a lack of planning.

O.K., I lost that battle, but NOT the war.  So, moving forward, get out that LIST, Kathy, and PLAN.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. One day at a time!