BURNOUT!

Diabetes Burnout?  I’ve never heard the term “burnout” used in connection to diabetes.  It makes sense though!

         Keep Walking!   Long Beach, NY

I read an article today by Catherine Price, a journalist who has diabetes and saw myself all over the page.  Maybe that’s my problem.  I hear myself complaining (in my own head, and sometimes to others) that I’m so sick of it, Why me? I just want a piece of cake, or pizza, or bread.  I don’t want to exercise. Waaa, waaa!  I actually bore myself with this whining and complaining.

Price has a good point.  She suggests treating diabetes burnout by removing “junk” (things we need to do) from other areas of our life.  By doing this, we’d make more “mental space” available to take care of the diabetes without feeling overwhelmed. I thought about it.

One of the worst self-inflicted stressors in my life is procrastination.  I can put off doing just about anything, paying my bills in a timely fashion, emptying the garbage, food shopping, gardening, all of which, shortens deadlines, adds more stressors AND fills up my head with “shoulds.” In other words, procrastination leads to negativity.  If I stopped procrastinating about even just ONE area of my life, and completed that task on time, I’d have less stress and more room to be able to do the “right thing in managing my diabetes” — thus, I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed (which leads to neglect of my diabetes). Good idea!

Because diabetes requires constant management, it’s never-ending.  Of course there are times when we feel overwhelmed — I sure feel it — it’s exhausting, and sometimes I just don’t want to “play” anymore!  Feeling bad about it is okay every once in awhile.  I just know that I can’t wallow around in that pond anymore, no good will come from that.

Price says to “nurture yourself.”  She’s right, we all deserve it.  Take the time to do something that will make YOU feel good.  Schedule it into your calendar.  My choice is a massage, sheer heaven. But if you’re not comfortable with that, plan something shorter.  Take a walk, drive to the beach, breathe in that sea air.  30-minutes of self-care will reset your attitude.  You’ll feel better, more in control. By arranging/scheduling breathing space into your non-diabetic life, you’ll realize that not every second has to be focused on diabetes. 15 – 30 minutes spent meditating or practicing yoga is time well spent. Ahhh. Relief.  Sounds good, doesn’t it?  Maybe you’re ahead of the game and you’re already doing it.   If not, what have you got to lose.

I started chair yoga about 6 weeks ago.  Because of an arm injury, I’m unable to practice “regular” yoga, so I took this route.  It’s been wonderful — every Wednesday for one hour!

Catherine Price seems to have a good handle on diabetes burnout.  Click on diabetes burnout for the complete article.

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Remorse — Back to Journaling

I’m annoyed.  Really annoyed.    😦

I decided tonight that I need to go back to writing down every morsel that goes into the cavernous orifice that I call my mouth.  I guess I’m frustrated. We all have those days, right?

I just can’t seem to get and stay on track.  Just when I think I’m on a roll (not eating a roll,  just “on” one),  monitoring my blood sugar,  eating correctly,  walking,  blah, blah, blah,  I make a stupid decision.  Like today.  I went to a diner with a friend.  It was 2:30 and this” brilliant, dedicated diabetic”  still hadn’t eaten lunch.  Bad move.  REALLY bad move.

So, into the diner we ran — ravenous.  I perused the menu, but I don’t know why I bothered, because as soon as the waiter came to take our order, I blurted out, “I’ll have a cheeseburger deluxe!”  Great move, Kathy.  What happened to the salads you were looking at?  Immediately, instantly, in a flash of misjudgment, I plunged off the wagon!  An hour later I was disgusted with myself.  The good news is, I didn’t eat it all but, no excuses, it was a BAD move.

IMG_3501
The Road to  Accountability

While wallowing in my pond of remorse, I realized that I had to start journaling/charting my food again.  It’s good for me, because it keeps me “honest.”  When I know I have to put into writing what I put into my mouth, I make better decisions.  BITE IT, WRITE IT, as the saying goes. I REALLY don’t want to be bothered — but, I’m going to do it.

I just took out yet another journal into which I will keep track of what I’m eating.  This time, I’m going to add a column and write in the times that  I’m walking and for how long.

Walking
Walking “gear”

Putting on my SNEAKERS any my “Big Girl Pants” and moving forward!

Wish me luck.  Please.

SMOOTHIES and Diabetes…

I learned the lesson last summer.

I was smoothie-ING everything that wasn’t nailed down.  Vegetables, fruits, it was a beautiful thing.  Everyone was doing it — ‘It’s healthy,” they exclaimed!

I had done away with my blender years ago, so when I saw a sale at Macy’s for something called the NINJA, I jumped right in. A friend of mine, who’s a health nut, recommended it highly.   –That baby put every blender on the planet to shame.–    First of all, it has a commanding presence on my countertop.  When I first bought it, the rest of my small appliances headed for the hills.  They were intimidated. I WAS INTIMIDATED!  I actually read the enclosed NINJA Manual, before using it.  That was a first.     C A U T I O N  was printed on each page.  Hmmm.

The blades on that thing are HUGE.  With one gentle touch, you can demolish its contents in the blink of an eye!   This is no amateur.   Seriously, other blenders pale in comparison.

People, the NINJA is no slouch.  Proceed with caution —  This baby will do the job — in an instant!  🙂       NINJA is VERY powerful.

The NINJA!
The NINJA!
IMG_3489
The BLADES are     HUGE!!! BE CAREFUL.
Check out the BLADES on this baby!
Check out the BLADES on this baby!

Once I got used to it, I prepared my “healthy” breakfasts with ease.  Smiling that HEALTHY, healthy, healthy smile; I was happy.  Breakfast has never been my friend, so I was beside myself with joy — for what I thought was a great alternative.

I went to my doctor, all smiles about my answer to prayer.  So, imagine my surprise, when she didn’t respond.  She seemed cautious — not talking, just listening. I was thrilled to tell her how happy I was to have FINALLY found a way to have breakfast via this new, healthy drink. No smile.

“Smoothies.  They’re the answer. It’s awesome.”  I could barely contain myself, I was so excited to report in with the good news.  I told her about my new purchase, the NINJA!  I explained how fast it is to prepare my smoothies and how delicious they taste.  Again, I used my favorite new word — HEALTHY!

Still, NO smile.

“Tell me what you’re having each morning?”

“It depends,” I said, feeling very much in control of my diabetes. ”

“Ok, give me an example.”

“Well, this morning, I took 1/2 an apple, 1/2 a banana, a small handful of strawberries and another of blueberries.  Healthy, right?  Oh, and I added some apple juice too, so it wouldn’t be so thick.  Maybe I shouldn’t have included the apple juice.  That might have added sugar.”

My wonderful, compassionate doctor looked at me with sad eyes, telling me, before her words, that my new found passion was not good for a diabetic.  Not healthy for anyone, really.

“Would you have cut up all that fruit into a bowl and eaten it?” she said softly.

I hesitated.  “Well, no — but…”

Bells went off in my head.  Suddenly, I saw my new-found friend, the NINJA,  as my enemy.

😦

As soon as the realization flashed before me, she came over and said in a voice that had a smile attached it it, “You might just as well have mainlined sugar…”    I’m an idiot!

We both laughed.  As she sent me into her lab (STILL laughing, by the way) to have my blood sugar taken, she reminded me to take it before and after eating fruit…

I knew that.  O.K, I should have known better.  I did know better.

So much for my smoothies.  The NINJA?  Well, it’s gathering dust.

No Gettin’ Around It!

When I go to my doctor, I always tell her the truth.  I confess:

“I binged, I slipped, I need to get more exercise” are the reasons that I blurt out, if I think all will not be well when she gets the A1C results.  “I’m doing great” is the other side of the coin, when I’m doing the healthy thing in every department. She always laughs and tells me there’s no need for confession.  The A1C will always spill the beans, if I’ve fallen off the proverbial wagon.

My daughter calls the A1C my “Blood Sugar Breathalyzer” — because — there’s just no gettin’ around it.  C’mon now — THAT’S funny!!! 🙂

The truth, as we’ve learned, is that there are many ways to stay on track.  I’ve been monitoring my blood glucose at least three times a day.  (Thus, my numbers are good.)  It’s important!  Taking my blood sugar and charting or journaling it, really helps to keep me honest.  I need that accountability — even if it’s just to myself.

Lancets and test strips. JUST DO IT!
Lancets and test strips.
                                    JUST DO IT!

Sometimes, I’m like a whiney baby (in my own head)  WAAAH, waah, waah!  I have holes in my fingers — it’s gross!  Then, my adult self, hands me a pacifier, tells me to stop, and then says, “STICK IT!”  literally.

It’s not a big deal. It’s important.  Like the NIKE commercial says, JUST DO IT!

The Argument: My Conscience and Me!

Had my blood work done — YEA!  A1C is down.

Happy — but, it’s still not as low as I want it.  I reviewed my “routine” and determined that I’m  NOT walking enough.  I planned to walk mornings and evenings.  Has that happened? Nope.

My conscience says:  NO EXCUSES!  YOU’RE JUST NOT WALKING ENOUGH!

Ugh!  It’s hot in the northeast — and the humidity?  I could ring out my body, and it would still be damper than a wet hen.  Really gross.

I said, NO EXCUSES!  Walk at the mall!     

IMPORTANT!
                         IMPORTANT!

My conscience is driving me nuts — constantly, nagging, complaining, reminding.

Shut up and WALK!

OK, ok…

Have you ever watched a swan swimming along in a pond?  They look SO serene and calm.  Truth be told, under that beautiful facade are webbed feet paddling like CRAZY, just to stay afloat.

Reality is, staying healthy takes work, but it’s worth it!

Working like CRAZY, (underneath it all...)
Working like CRAZY, (underneath it all…)

I FOUND THEM!!!!

Peaches, that is.

I realized when I found them in a local supermarket, that I’m becoming obsesssed with these “furry,” delectable, delights.  I’m noticing that my blood sugar is definitely higher after eating a peach, as say — consuming an apple.

Too late — I bought them, but I think for the last time this season.

PEACHES for the masses!
PEACHES for the masses!

I will be careful about my “intake” of these juicy, sweet (the operative word) gifts from the fruit gods!

My advice:  Enjoy, but in moderation, and check your blood sugar before and after you indulge.

PLANNING = GOOD DECISIONS

Another day #1 began with breakfast.  Today had to be different, smart.  So I set out to formulate a plan.

I’m really NOT good at getting up early.  Definitely improving, but not perfect.  The plan begins:

Get up bet 7-7:30    Take blood sugar, eat breakfast, walk for one hour, back home and shower.  Take blood sugar again.  O.K., now that’s a good start.  Planning the rest of the day and making SURE to have lunch, while including regular glucose monitoring, will lead to a successful day for this diabetic.

Isn’t it frustrating, when you know EXACTLY what to do, and you DON’T do it?

Planning = TIMING  meal schedule properly.
Planning = TIMING meal schedule properly.

Nobody ever said this was going to be easy, but I know that when I plan my meals and schedule out my day appropriately, the day ends in success — good numbers and a smile on my face.

Timing is everything —

I CAN DO THIS — one day at a time.   🙂

Suggestions welcome.