On my way home today, I stopped at my local Stop and Shop. LIST in hand 🙂 I entered the store completely focused.
paper goods
tomatoes
3 small bananas
1/2 lb. roast beef
dish detergent
flowers
That’s it — I’m done.
Moving down the aisle from the deli section on my way to the check out line, two wagons blocked my way. No one was paying attention, so I took a detour to the left. It was the bakery area, but I knew I was o.k. The showcase was to my left, so I looked to the right as I passed it (Just to be on the safe side — trying to avoid temptation.)
“Miss, Miss, excuse me. Miss!” I turned to my left and a frail, elderly lady was smiling at me. She was standing, slightly hunched over, in front of the showcases filled with you know what. I’m tall, so I’m used to people asking me to get them items from the high shelves. But, there were no shelves.
“I don’t know what to do,” she said, appearing to be confused.
“How can I help you?”
And then it began. A LONG story, with much pointing out of the various pastries.
“I’m having 5 people over for bridge today. So far I have this,” she said, pointing to the container of fruit in her cart. “But I can’t decide what pastries to get. Do you think two of the tarts, two of the giant chocolate cookies and maybe eight of the rainbow cookies would be enough?”
My mouth began to salivate, “I’m sorry, I really don’t know.” I started to walk away.
“Wait, please, I really need your help,” she pleaded. “Maybe I should get the mini chocolate ganache cakes too. What do you think?”
THERE’S NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD, that’s what I think!
I took a deep breath and said, “Maybe you should ask the baker, she’s the expert.” I started to scoot away. “Wait,” she called out. I turned and pointed to the woman behind the counter. “She’s right there; she’ll be able to answer your questions.”
I took off like a bat out of hell! Once on line, I checked out my items and was on my way. Before leaving, I glanced over at the bakery section. She was still there, debating with the baker. I smiled
Walking to the car, I gave myself a virtual pat on the back. I made it out — sugar free. Good for me!
The other day I completed a ton of chores and on the way home I decided to stop at the deli. I love their Light Vegi Tuna (very little mayo; perfect for lunch). Of course, there was a line, so I focused on what I was getting — nothing else.
As I waited on line, my eyes wandered into a basket of homemade baked goods. A brownie topped by the crumbs of a crumb cake, drenched in confectioners sugar, caught my eye. Interesting. Seriously, I’ve never see that before. My “crazy self” screamed, Buy it — try it — one isn’t going to kill you. Along came the guy with my tuna. “Anything else, ma’am?” “No thanks, I’m good,” came out of my mouth. And then, my hand inched its way over to the basket of goodies. “Wait, I’ll take one of these.” Money exchanged hands — similar to a drug deal… I took my small bag and drove home, not giving a thought to what I’d just done.
Once in the house, I removed the tuna and the brownie/crumb cake from the brown paper bag. I still can’t believe what I did. I put the tuna in the refrigerator and the brownie on a plate. I sat down at my dining room table, read the newspaper, and ate the brownie. When I was done, I looked up, much like an alcoholic coming out of a stupor, and thought, What did I do? It was pretty amazing. I don’t even LIKE crumb cake, and frankly, I couldn’t tell you what the brownie tasted like. I paid no attention while I was eating. I likened myself to an alcoholic in a blackout, I barely remembered eating it — I swear, it was really strange. I felt awful; remorse took over. I yelled at myself, vowing never to let my guard down again. Physically, I felt like garbage, not unlike the junk I had ingested. All this over a brownie! I took a nap.
Hindsight is a great thing. I knew better, but I did it anyway. I went into that deli hungry — bad decision. I let my guard down. When it comes to food, I realize that I need structure. Planning is the key to success, and I certainly didn’t do it that day. For the most part, my failures regarding my diabetes regimen are centered around a lack of planning.
O.K., I lost that battle, but NOT the war. So, moving forward, get out that LIST, Kathy, and PLAN. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. One day at a time!
Yesterday was rough. Last night I had a conversation with my daughter; we discussed my struggle with junk food. She suggested that I tell myself, “I don’t like chocolate anymore.” I laughed; like it’s that easy. We laughed some more and moved on to another topic.
A few hours later, I started to think about our conversation. Why not try it? I looked in the mirror and I said out loud, “I DON’T like chocolate anymore!” Then, I said it again, and again, and again, three more times. I went to sleep.
Today’s another Day One. I started out with a blood sugar of 116, pre-breakfast, and post-bkfst = 107. As I got dressed, I repeatedly told myself, “I don’t like chocolate anymore.” Calmly, I kept repeatedly saying this to myself. My brain was absorbing these words, and I felt good about it.
Went to the theatre, a matinee, today. On the train, I slipped into a seat with a friend and looked up. Further down on the end wall was a large poster with a picture of a bunch of nuts. (Did you think I was going to say YODELS?) The caption above the picture read, New York is full of nuts!” We laughed, and I told her about my Yodel incident on the train. We were seated at the opposite end of the train, and as we were talking to each other, I had my back to that wall. After a while, I turned and what do you think was next to me, plastered on the wall? A gigantic poster of, yep — a Yodels ad. Bright orange background with two “highly-polished,” cream-filled, chocolate delights, staring right at me. The caption read, “YES, PLEASE. Listen to Your Craving.” We both burst out laughing; I clicked a photo and turned away from it, because — “I don’t like chocolate anymore.”
“Torture” on the LIRR
My pre-dinner blood sugar was a beautiful 95. We walked in the city today, so that, in addition to eating the right foods/portions, probably helped to bring it down.
IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO RAISE YOUR BLOOD SUGAR, SIMPLY BY THINKING ABOUT JUNK FOOD???
No way, right? Here’s what happened —
I started the day by eating that first important meal later in the day than is my normal routine. I ate the correct portions of the healthy foods I’d planned for breakfast. At this point, my blood sugar was perfecto!
Skipped having a snack — no need, because I got up late. (I know, I know.)
Company was coming for lunch, so I went to the store to get a few healthy items to be sure I’d stay on track. It was difficult shopping. I was getting hungry, and guess what was calling me? Yep, my favorite junk foods.
I stuck to my list, while — Kathy, one little cookie won’t hurt you was being screamed through my head. I flew past the candy aisle — detoured down another section, to avoid the pastries in the Bakery. I’m almost out. WHY can’t I get this junk out of my head????
The real test was still ahead, the dreaded line at the register. It was my turn and, as I’ve been doing lately, I faced the conveyor belt, placed my items on it, with my back to the you know what. I REFUSED to listen to the York Peppermint Patties, Hershey bars, and Reeses’ Pieces, singing in unison to get my attention. Focusing on the register and my items moving along, I jumped further up and started packing — fast, really fast. “Thank you, have a nice day,” from the cashier, and I was on my way to the car. Safe.
Thoughts of what had just happened bounced around my brain on the short drive home. Why is this still happening? I’m doing so well.
Company arrived and we enjoyed our conversation and lunch. Mine was just a sandwich and half an apple. (Normally, I cut one slice of toast horizontally so I’m still having a “real” sandwich, but only one slice of bread.) What happened? No clue. We were talking and laughing. My brain was somewhere else, and I didn’t even notice what I’d done. 2 slices consumed, a “regular” sandwich. Ugh. I determined that it would be fine — no cheese, mayo, etc., so maybe that would make up for the extra slice. No dessert for me.
Doesn’t sound like a big deal, right?
Imagine my surprise when, later, I stabbed my finger and that healthy blood seeped out onto the test strip and the numbers went UP!!! I was crazed. How could this be? Impossible. NO, NO, NO!
I grabbed that miserable glucometer and looked more closely, hoping that I’d read it wrong. I shook it, turned it over, shook it again. It MUST be broken.
Of course, at this moment, I’m vulnerable. Creeping in, ever-so-slowly, and then like a barrage of gunfire, my thoughts ran amuck! ALL I could think about were all-things covered in chocolate.
Finally, that’s it! I’m going to Dollar Tree. Candy, cookies, cakes, were in my future– and only $1/each. I don’t care. Nothing’s working, blah, blah, blah. All I did was THINK about the tempting treats, and my blood sugar went up. There’s no justice in this world, I ranted in my mind to my “crazy” self.
By the time I’d put my shoes on, bag and car keys in hand, ready to go, I had a sudden epiphany.
Are you nuts? (Yes.) Stop! You’ve worked too hard to cave now. I sat down and listened to my now sane self speaking the voice of reason. I didn’t go. But, I was concerned that it wouldn’t be long before I did.
You’re in the right place, if you’ve been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes — OR — if you know someone who is diabetic. This blog will help you find the humor in it all. I’m NOT saying that diabetes is funny, but how it’s handled sure can be!
So far, so good. I went out for dinner, perused the menu and chose Chicken Scarpariello. Probably not the best choice, but I didn’t have time to check out the menu online. I chose the lesser of the evils.
New restaurant — horrible meal. I ate about a third of it and took the rest home. Dessert? No thank you.
When I returned home, two-thirds of my dinner in hand, I decided on the way in the door that this food was never going to enter my stomach. What possessed you to bring it home? It was awful.
I walked directly into the kitchen and deposited the bag into the garbage — it never even made it to the refrigerator. Good for me.
It’s 4:45 p.m. — so far, so good. I’d call this day a success.
Walked ( a short one, I admit) first thing this morning, then moved on to an appropriate breakfast. Still need to try an egg white omelet. I have a sensitivity to eggs — they make me sick. Someone told me that, if you’re allergic to eggs, it’s really the yolk that’s getting to you. I need a day that’s not planned, so that I’ll be home and can give it a shot. I’ll do it. The protein will serve me well and I can add veggies.
For today, breakfast and lunch were good. 1/2 an apple was the snack between breakfast and lunch. I’m having an early dinner, as I have to go out by 6:30. So swordfish it is!
I’m cooking it in my trusty grill pan, as we “speak.” LOVE my grill pan! I sprayed a little olive oil on the pan, plopped that sucker in, added a squeeze of lemon and some Chesapeake Bay Seafood seasoning, and let it do its thing on a low flame for a bit.
Have you ever experimented with herbs and spices? Great fun. Penzey Spices is where I get mine. The place is amazing, and you can get them online too. I went to the store once with a friend, and got addicted to the place. They just have SO MUCH, and the salespeople know everything there is to know about their products. They make great gifts, too. I bought some for my sister-in-law, and now she buys from their catalog. Yep, she’s hooked. She’s a wonderful cook, and loves the variety they have. I digress — have to check on the fish.
Added some more of those sumptuous ingredients listed above, flipped it, and it’s grilling slowly. Almost ready. Gazing into the pan now, there’s no guilt about my rage yesterday. I guess it’s easier to be one with my fish not staring into his eyes.
It’s ready, and so am I. My swordfish is sharing the plate (Portion control = I use luncheon-sized plates) with a small, naked (no butter or sour cream) baked potato with a squeeze of lemon, a serving of carrots and string beans.
Yep — so far, so good. Hope you enjoy your healthy meal as much as I am.
I’ve been taking the train from my home into the city forever. Usually, I pass the time reading a newspaper or book, but there are those days when I people-watch and peruse the posters/ads on the walls of the trains.
A poster for Air France, splashed across the wall of the train, may have a beautiful photo of the aircraft, along with additional pictures of the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, and the Louvre. As an avid traveler, the photos pull me into my thoughts of Paris and paint a smile across my face. This diversion helps to shorten my trip home.
That’s just one example among many; I’ve traveled, in my mind, to Germany, London, Africa, Russia, thanks to these posters. In addition to the travel posters, there are many regarding health, education, fashion, etc. All of them help to move the clock forward for many a weary passenger.
So imagine my surprise, last Monday, while coming home from a class in the city, I looked up, only to see an enormous poster of a chocolate-covered, cream-filled Yodel! It was dinner time, and I was ravenous. I looked away, as if not looking at it would make the temptation disappear. It was SCREAMING at me, Kathy, I’m over here. Look! I’m right here. Slowly, I glanced at it again, and I thought I might actually cry. Printed at the bottom of the poster was, “Don’t resist the temptation.”
I scoured the train, looking at every passenger. Satan. He’s here. I know it.
My mouth was watering. The dark, chocolate-covered Yodel was depicted as a shiny treat consisting of fresh, “devils” food chocolate cake, chock full of creamy white joy! My heart was racing, my palms sweaty. I was in pain.
A conversation took place in my brain. WHY would they write that sentence? It’s irresponsible advertising — Don’t they know what they’re doing? Of course they do! If it were a bottle of scotch, would they advise the reader not to resist the temptation? I think not. But then, you never know.
My destination was approaching. I got up, lowering my eyes to avoid viewing the tempting poster, and moved to the exit in the opposite direction. It was calling me. Finally, the doors of the train opened, and I escaped! I ran for my life.
Once off the train, I never looked back. I walked swiftly along the platform and down the stairs to “safety.” My car was a few rows back; I couldn’t wait to get into it. I started the engine, but not before taking a deep breath. I counted my blessings.
Managing diabetes is difficult at best. This post may sound like an exaggeration to the non-diabetic, but to those addicted to sugar, I’ll bet you can relate. 🙂
Posted by K Keevins at 2:01 AM 2 comments:
Keeping my hands busy working on a project, stops me from feeding my face. Crafting and DIY-ing, are my all-time favorites.
Crocheting is great. I didn’t say I’m great at it, but I love doing it! I’ve managed to make afghans and throws for babies and adults, scarves (straight and infinity), and head/ear warmers. That’s about it. Nothing fancy — no sweaters or hats, not yet anyway. I love the colors and sizes of the various yarns — chunky may be my fave. It’s great to engage in a night of crocheting, sans food. It means I’ve moved toward completion of a gift, or something for myself, without “moving” food down my throat. That’s a good thing!
Large crocheted afghanCrocheted Ear Warmers
I belong to a small group called the “Crafty Bitches.” Truth is, sometimes we craft, sometimes we bitch, sometimes we do both. It’s great just to sit with some friends, talking and crocheting, most of all laughing. We made a pact when we started the group, years ago, that no food would be consumed when we met, and with very few exceptions, we’ve stuck to our plan. Yea, us!
Last year, I decided I wanted to learn to quilt. NOT hand-quilting. Let’s not get carried away. I have an ancient sewing machine that’s heavy, and pretty much dead; so, I bought an inexpensive machine that came with a video (awesome bonus), and I was off and running. God Bless YouTube! I started with a rag quilt; couldn’t be easier. To date, I’ve made five — all for babies. One is an “I Spy” quilt (You know, I Spy a truck, I Spy a butterfly, I Spy…). I’m working on it now for a friend’s grandson. I’ll send it with a list of things the child can find on it — pretty cool. There’s no way I can, or would, eat while doing this; I wouldn’t want to ruin it.
In November of this year, I decided to learn beading. While shopping, I almost always end up looking for a bargain in the jewelry section, particularly bracelets and earrings. I can do this! …and so it always begins. Again, what would I do without YouTube? I made bracelets and earrings for the masses; wrapped them up, and voila, Christmas presents. Unless they were pulling my leg, the jewelry was a big hit. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be, but I kept it simple, and with the right colors and a touch of bling, I created jewelry that would rival Tiffany’s! O.K., that’s totally untrue; but, they were pretty good and fun to do. Most importantly, I couldn’t eat and bead, lest I devour an earring or two.
Beading, crocheting, and quilting, are projects that have helped to keep me OUT of the kitchen. I can thank them for assisting me in managing my numbers. I can attest that “crafting helps to keep diabetes under control.” 🙂
Seriously, I hope that you can see there’s some truth to what I’m saying. There’s lots more in the realm of crafting andDIY-ing that I’ll discuss in future posts; relating it to the control of my diabetes, of course.
This Dedicated Diabetic is hoping that you’re staying on track towards a healthy lifestyle.
Posted by K Keevins at 11:30 PM 2 comments:
A War is Won, One Battle at a Time
Last week I saw an ad in the paper for a free seminar on Diabetes. There’s always something new to learn, right? I was suspicious, because it didn’t take place in a hospital. I figured the doctor was probably hawking a book, but I’m o.k. with that, so I went with my mind wide open.
The event was held in a hotel — stop laughing. LOL, I did too 🙂
The room was packed, I took the only seat left. Never, and I mean never, have I ever heard anyone speak so fast — I’m talking auction speed! Some of the terms he spit out were, “concierge medicine, supplements, medications.” I listened anyway.
After his spiel, which lasted an hour, I filed away one important statement. It was a fact that I already knew. It wasn’t what he said, it was HOW he said it. Bluntly.
“You have a choice to make,” he said seriously,
“What’s more important to you, your carbs, breads, cakes, cookies, candy, — or your FEET?” What’s more important, your dairy products, cheese, ice cream, — or your VISION?”
He was right. His words slapped me right across the face. Hard, really hard.
Driving home, I felt sad. Quickly, my sadness changed to motivation. This take-away was exactly what I needed. Time to move forward. I removed the word “cheat” from my vocabulary.
Diabetes is no joke.
Recently, my struggle has been increasingly difficult. Shopping, any type of shopping, is torture. You know what I mean. Almost every store has candy at the register. Think about it; the hardware store, the craft store, clothing store. Why? WHY? I venture in to buy a screwdriver, but the sweet-stuff is always there! It’s calling my name — Kathy, one piece won’t hurt. You know you want me! My mouth is watering, and it’s not over the screwdriver. I bite my lip (a sure sign I’m about to slip), my nostrils flare (I really want to smell it; just smell it). It’s so hard to stay on track.
It’s true. It can be torture; but I’m determined. My feet trump junk food. Here’s my plan: DON’T EVEN LOOK. If there are magazines, read the covers. FOCUS on the purchase, not the surrounding temptations. Finally, cha-ching, my item(s) paid for, and I’ve made it out of the store without caving into temptation. Another battle won!
Nobody ever told me this would be easy. I don’t know about you, but I never thought it would be this much of a challenge. Now, with my renovated attitude, do you know what I say to that moaning and groaning? Tough! Just DO it, Kathy. I’m well aware that my quality of life, my life, is at stake.
I choose good health.
And the war continues. I will win! One day-at-a-time.
I can do this — one day at a time! It seems, that’s the only way I can do it. But, that’s o.k.
Last night I walked with my good friend (and “walking buddy”), Maureen. We usually walk for about an hour. Not too fast, not too slow, just right. It’s great for the endorphins and for lowering my blood sugar. We shoot the breeze and walk, walk, walk.
I’ve joined gyms, got pumped-up about it, and POOF! Fizzled out. I accept that I’ll never be a gym rat; it’s just not going to happen. Frankly, I don’t see the allure. For those of you who are into it, BRAVO! Keep at it. Me? I’m going to stick to my walking. It works for me, also helps to get rid of that blasted belly fat. Lord knows, I need to work on that.
When I was first diagnosed with T-2, they told me to exercise. Walking worked for me then, and it still fills the bill. My goal is to walk both in the morning and evening. I haven’t been successful at both, YET. But, I’m getting there. Yep, one day at a time.
Diary of a Dedicated Diabetic 