Post July 4th — Our Quest for Independence

Saturday,  July 9, 2016

I have no words regarding diabetes today.  There’s just nothing to say.

What a sad time we’re experiencing across our great nation. The U. S. of A. is in mourning for the extraordinary loss of life we suffered recently.

It was just a few days ago that our flags were flying proudly. BBQ’s reigned! We enjoyed fireworks booming and lighting up the skies, patriotic songs pouring from the voices of grateful Americans celebrating our Independence Day. It was fun, in person or just viewing it all on tv.

Watching television is difficult right now. Flags are not proudly flying — tears are flowing. Tears of sorrow, running down our faces, for the families and friends who have lost their loved ones — senselessly. Men, just trying to do their job, killed.

It’s just wrong!  That racism is still alive in 2016 is FRIGHTENING. (Am I naive?}  So incredibly sad…

I was thinking about the Statue of Liberty, that incredible gift from France so many years ago. Her symbolism is clear. She stands tall, a welcoming symbol, inviting people, not from our shores, to join us in working towards the American Dream — life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I picture her today, frowning, tears streaming down her face.

We’d better get on track — and I’m not talking about diabetes!

We need to protect and guide our nation.

From…

SEA

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— to–

SHINING SEA

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Lessons Learned… (A.)

Saturday, April 30, 2016

My last post, I believe, was written on April 3.  It was a period of time during which I was feeling beyond stressed out. From that point until today, I haven’t been able to write a word. Nothing.

My brother was very ill and passed away on April 6th. (R.I.P., Joseph D. Masterson). My life came to a screeching halt. Those of you who have experienced profound loss, know that there’s a fog that seems to descend upon you and engulf your very being. You walk, talk, function, but it’s amid a bubble that seems to envelop you — at least that’s the way it’s been for me.

My “writer friends” told me to write it out; I couldn’t. They said it would be cathartic. I didn’t want that — I wanted him back.  Now.  For just one more conversation, one more laugh. Of course, that’s not going to happen.

In the part of his eulogy that I wrote, I thanked him for the impact he had on my life. It was huge.  He taught me not only to understand Shakespeare, but to LOVE him. I mentioned Hemingway, Steinbeck and a host of other authors to whom he “introduced” me. He taught me to fight AGAINST discrimination and FOR feminism. Respecting the opinions of others is a great lesson to learn from an older sibling.  There was that — and SO much more.

My brother was a Type 2 Diabetic  (insulin dependent) who chose not to control his diet. I only hope that I learn from his mistakes. I promised myself that I will follow a healthy diet and exercise, in a effort to control my diabetes — as a tribute to him.

This segment of Lessons Learned (A.) is about the impact of the loss of a loved one on the monitoring of my diabetes.  Maybe I should say the LACK of monitoring. No appetite. NONE. I forced myself to eat to the best of my ability during these weeks. I learned that sadness robbed me of my appetite, my everything. I kept telling myself that I HAD to eat because of this damned disease — and I did. Not much, but I did.

24 days have passed since my brother left this earth, and as I write this post, I realize that I’m doing exactly what he would NOT want me to do. So, as of tomorrow, May 1st, I will do what I need to do to stay healthy.  I’ll do it, with tears in my eyes; but, I’ll do it.

#luckylittlesister

Lessons Learned (B.)  will be posted tomorrow…

Falling Flat on My Face!

That’s pretty much what I’ve done so far. Falling, getting up, falling again. I’m basing that statement on my numbers. My blood sugar levels hover around the same area, but why, when I’m walking, am I gaining weight? SO frustrating. I’m monitoring my food.

I’d love to attribute this to my not feeling well, but what does that really have to do with it? I’m not “sick sick,” not “go to the doctor sick,” I just feel crummy. No energy. I do know that, at least with me, sometimes when something inside my body is “brewing,” this is how I feel prior to it actually hitting me. Kind of lethargic.

This too will pass.  I bought a get well card for a friend of mine the other day. She has a great sense of humor.  It read, This too will pass then, when you opened the card the words printed were, Kind of like a kidney stone — but, it WILL pass!  🙂  I thought it was pretty funny and, apparently she did as well. A few days later she called me to thank me for the chuckle, and to let me know she’s feeling better.

Doesn’t that statement sum up life beautifully? Whatever is going on in our lives, no matter how we feel, It WILL pass. Sometimes on the fast track, oftentimes, the problem has to creep along before it’s over. The bottom line is it WILL end. It will pass.

So, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I’m picking myself up, and moving on with my regime one day at a time.

Hope you’re doing well.

P.S. Sorry about the lack of photos. Still having computer issues. But, I know it will pass.   🙂

ll4 = Blood sugar            152.1 lbs.  😦

Hanging My Head… :(

From the moment I opened my eyes this morning, I was tempted.  ALL DAY LONG I had cravings!  It was rough.

Have you had days like this?

I got through it until about three o’clock.  That’s when my car drove straight into a gas station.  No, I was not in need of petro.  I was in “need” of chocolate.  I fell WAY off the proverbial wagon.  My purchase included Hostess cupcakes and a Three Musketeer’s bar, both of which I promptly ate the minute I got home.  My mind went blank.  I used none of the tools that I have to fight off cravings — I just gave in.

What did I get out of this plunge into a vat of sugar?  Absolutely nothing, unless you count an incredible thirst that couldn’t be quenched, a horrific case of cotton mouth, and a tongue that felt like it was 4 inches thick.  It was disgusting.  I felt disgusting.  Of course, my blood sugar rose, and I went into a carb coma.  Sleeping the day away, is not my idea of fun, so I fought it.  I set my alarm for 30 minutes.  When it screamed at me, I got up.  No remorse, I told my frustrated self.  Hop back on the wagon and move along with the day. 

It’s now almost 10 p.m.  My mouth is still dry and I’m drinking water like a nomad in a desert. I’ve reviewed my day and realized that the number one thing that I did wrong was skip lunch.  I had a list of errands that would choke a horse, and I paid more attention to the list than I did to myself.

Take care of #1.  As Type 2 diabetics, we know that’s what has to happen to be successful at winning each battle. I didn’t do it.

Tomorrow’s another day.  I WILL do the right thing — use my tools, eat ON TIME and properly!  It will be a good day.

Clock Tower at Worth Avenue., Palm Beach, Florida
Clock Tower at Worth Avenue., Palm Beach, Florida.  EAT ON TIME!!!

I CAN DO IT!

I can do this!!!!!