“Slipped” on the ice…

O.K., maybe not on the ice.  I “slipped” on some cookies  😦

I went to the doctor for my 3-month Diabetes checkup today.  Everything was great. No surprise to me — I’ve been eating correctly, monitoring my blood sugar, and walking.  Things have been looking up!  She was happy, I was happy.

So, why is it that when I went to the store to get ice melt (FREEZING here in the northeast),  I came out with JUNK?  Why, why, why?  AND, why didn’t I take out my Grapefruit Oil and smell it, in an effort to avoid the craving.  WHY?????

UGH, SO frustrating.

Driving home, I never gave a thought as to what I’d purchased.  When I started to put the items away, that’s when the realization smacked me RIGHT IN THE FACE!  I was really upset and disappointed in myself.  But evidently, not enough to toss the cookies and those cheddar crackers that I like so much into the garbage.  Nope — I had 4 — count ’em, 4 chocolate chip cookies and a small bowl of the crackers.  Truth? They tasted great!  That was around three o’clock. By 4, the carb coma took over, and I had a “nap.”   When I woke up, dinner time was approaching, and naturally I wasn’t hungry. The rest of the night brought misery — you know the deal.  Remorse, embarrassment, anger, blah, blah, blah.

“Get a grip, Kathy!” I yelled at myself.  That’s when I tossed “Satan’s food” into the garbage.  Guilt:  “There are people starving in this world, and you’re throwing out food?” Phrases such as this ran through my head.  Thankfully, my answer was a resounding YES!  Guilt is a wasted emotion, negative and hurtful. There’s no positive purpose in feeling guilty. I’m over it!

It’s kind of interesting how the brain works.  I seem to crave sugar if I’m down, bored, hungry; but also, when I’m “up,” — like today.  I was happy that all was well in my diabetes realm, so I guess I let my guard down.  Lesson Learned!

It’s 11 p.m. now, and I’ll be going to bed soon with the knowledge that tomorrow will be another Day One.  I’ll get up, eat breakfast, go to the mall — and walk, walk, walk. The good news is that I’m confident that tomorrow will be a good day.  I’ve already written two post-its that I’m going to put on the dashboard of my car.  One is a reminder; it simply says, GRAPEFRUIT! to remind me not to “slip,” and to use the tools I have.  Written on the other post-it is one word:  NO! Also, a simple reminder.

At the end of each day, I reflect on what took place during the course of my day that was positive and what was negative.  I’ll review my “slip,” learn from it, and then I’ll let it go. Tomorrow’s another day in the life of this dedicated diabetic, and it’s going to be a GOOD one.

 

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What Happened to the Travel Posters? :(

What do travel posters have to do with diabetes?

Venice
                           Venice

I’ve been taking the train from my home into the city forever. Usually, I pass the time reading a newspaper or book, but there are those days when I people-watch and peruse the posters/ads on the walls of the trains.

A poster for Air France, splashed across the wall of the train, may have a beautiful photo of the aircraft, along with additional pictures of the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, and the Louvre. As an avid traveler, the photos pull me into my thoughts of Paris and paint a smile across my face. This diversion helps to shorten my trip home.

That’s just one example among many; I’ve traveled, in my mind, to Germany, London, Africa, Russia, thanks to these posters. In addition to the travel posters, there are many regarding health, education, fashion, etc. All of them help to move the clock forward for many a weary passenger.

So imagine my surprise, last Monday, while coming home from a class in the city, I looked up, only to see an enormous poster of a chocolate-covered, cream-filled Yodel! It was dinner time, and I was ravenous. I looked away, as if not looking at it would make the temptation disappear. It was SCREAMING at me, Kathy, I’m over here. Look! I’m right here. Slowly, I glanced at it again, and I thought I might actually cry. Printed at the bottom of the poster was,  “Don’t resist the temptation.”

I scoured the train, looking at every passenger. Satan. He’s here. I know it.

My mouth was watering. The dark, chocolate-covered Yodel was depicted as a shiny treat consisting of fresh, “devils” food chocolate cake, chock full of creamy white joy! My heart was racing, my palms sweaty. I was in pain.

A conversation took place in my brain. WHY would they write that sentence? It’s irresponsible advertising — Don’t they know what they’re doing? Of course they do! If it were a bottle of scotch, would they advise the reader not to resist the temptation? I think not. But then, you never know.

My destination was approaching. I got up, lowering my eyes to avoid viewing the tempting poster, and moved to the exit in the opposite direction. It was calling me. Finally, the doors of the train opened, and I escaped! I ran for my life.

Once off the train, I never looked back. I walked swiftly along the platform and down the stairs to “safety.” My car was a few rows back; I couldn’t wait to get into it. I started the engine, but not before taking a deep breath. I counted my blessings.

Managing diabetes is difficult at best. This post may sound like an exaggeration to the non-diabetic, but to those addicted to sugar, I’ll bet you can relate.  🙂
Posted by K Keevins at 2:01 AM 2 comments: