PUSH that damn cloud away!!!

I’ve been doing THIS for a long time! You’d thing going out for dinner wouldn’t be a big deal. Ha! MOST OF THE TIME, it isn’t, but if I’m in a funk, I tend to want to eat dessert first —- life is short, after all… When I’m okay (thinking positively), it’s not a problem. Then, there are those days when I convince myself that I’m making much ado about nothing.

“SUGAR BEAST”

Truth. It’s NOT nothing. T2D is not a joke, not something to be dismissed. So, in as much as I want to let that evil Sugar Beast in, I’m NOT going to.         Evil  *!@#!***

I really think that waaaay back, when I was first diagnosed, I convinced myself that I’d handle this “diabetes nonsense” and move on with my life. How naive was I? I knew then, and I still am acutely aware that Type 2 Diabetes is here to stay, and the harder I fight it, the worse I feel.

I used the word feel, because it isn’t only a physical issue, it’s also an emotional one. That’s the hardest part for me. I’m definitely a “stress eater,” My emotions send my appetite into high gear, when life hits the fan.

We all have choices! For me, making a conscious decision to choose wisely is where it all starts. I need to:

• STOP —- Slow down and get a grip
• THINK —-What outcome do I want from my decision?
• BREATHE —-Deep breaths are imperative in order to stop and think before making an important decision.

Yes, eating that piece of cake is an important choice. It’s trivial to non-diabetics, but for me, it’s imperative to do the right thing. Most of the time, choosing to have dessert is not the end of the world (in my case), but importantly, I don’t want that decision to be the one that sends me over the cliff.

Seriously.  I’ve been able to treat my diabetes with diet, exercise, and one medication. Pretty good, I’m told. Here’s the thing — making a lifestyle out of eating the wrong things, lack of exercise, and failing to take my medication properly, WILL send me on the road to insulin. I don’t want that!

I don’t consider taking a little more insulin, or an extra pill, will make it okay for any diabetic to “cheat” on decisions regarding food choices. That’s a game I don’t want to play because, I know that I won’t come out the winner. I’m VERY competitive. If it’s between me and diabetes —- trust me, I’LL WIN!  I’ll succeed each and every day, by using the tools that I have.

Lately, I’ve been having difficulty with food choices. Ugh, it’s a killer. But, I’m living one day at a time, one choice at a time, and relief is on it’s way. I feel it. That cloud is starting to lift, if ever so slowly. I’m fighting to be able to follow the healthy road I’ve chosen for myself.

No need to rush —- slowly, carefully, I’m getting back on track. I CAN DO IT — and so can you.

I CAN DO IT!

“FUNK” — U!

Saturday, September 10, 2016

So there!!!        

That’s how I’ve been feeling — in a funk.  Tired, aggravated with the world, you know the deal. We’ve all been there.

Not being a very patient person,…I want/need OUT of this feeling, NOW!  Ah, patience. Not one of my virtues. I guess I’m frustrated because I’ve been working hard at beating the hell out of my T2D, desperately trying to get off the medication. I expected to feel great by now (always in a rush…)  I have a B12 deficiency, so I had the blood work done yesterday to determine if that’s the issue at hand. I hope so. That’s an easy fix.

When I got up this morning, I headed for John’s Farms for some fish— “brain food,” right? Maybe that’ll help. I bought swordfish, which I LOVE grilled.  Next, I drove to my absolute favorite local farm — Meyer’s. I stocked up on some of their fantastic zucchini — the golden zucchini is amazing. I swear the attraction for me is the color, not just the taste. They’re such a rich, golden shade of yellow —  beautiful. 🙂

Thanks to my nephew, Keith, (I like to refer to him as “Farmer Keith”). He’s got some “Green Thumb!”  Thanks, Keith, for an outrageous supply of bright red, scrumptious, cherry tomatoes. Mouthwatering — OMG — they’re incredible! I could eat them like candy, but — oops, oh yeah, diabetes. I paired these jewels of his “farm” with some amazing zucchini, and the result was a casserole that, at this very moment, smells FANTABULOUS!!! Can’t wait ’til it comes out of the oven.

Do you hear a change in my “tone?” I do. Just taking the actions that I took today, are causing an improvement in my attitude. Music helps too — Hoping the “Funk” departs — SOON!

Watch for my next post. I’ll include a photo of the finished product. If it’s tasty, I’ll include the recipe!  🙂

 

 

 

 

Note from God — Dear Kathy,

Monday,  June 20, 2016

In my last post, I pleaded with God to make it STOP — that is, my present situation with dental work (torture!).  I had faith. I trusted Her…

As I mentioned, I went to the dentist to redo the process, hopefully ending in a FINAL visit. When we were done, I was thrilled. “It’s so much better,” I told my DDS.  Relieved and happy with the result, I hugged him, and headed for home.

During dinner, I noticed that it was still difficult to chew. It’ll get better I convinced myself. The bad news is, it didn’t — get better.  In fact, I was right back to a higher level of being uncomfortable. The good news is that I wasn’t in pain. But, being uncomfortable on such an elevated level is NOT fun. By the way, have I told you —I AM DIABETIC, and I DO have to eat. Ugh.

Dental work stinks, at least in my opinion! My friends keep asking, “Are you in pain?” I reply in the negative, and watch as they look at me like I’m nuts. Maybe I am, nuts that is. I refuse to list my dental discomfort as painful — I know what REAL pain is and this isn’t it (Trust me). I do tend to minimize, but I know what I’m feeling.

I began my Dental Journey on April 20 — today is June 20!!! That’s long enough. Frustration has risen and fallen throughout these two months. At the beginning, I asked how long it would take until I felt like myself again.  My dentist proclaimed — 6 weeks!

 

I wasn’t thrilled, but I knew I had no choice.  Just bite the bullet, I told myself. (Later, I learned that “bite” was the operative word.}

Nonetheless, a constant feeling of uncomfortablity is a nightmare.  My mouth feels like it’s full of marbles, my bite is off, and damn it — I can’t chew! Thinking positively, I went to bed convinced that when I woke up, all would be well.  As the sun rose, my mouth felt huge. It’s just not right. Remaining in bed, I thought back to my plea (in my last post). Thoughts of a reprieve wandered through my head. God, I thought, didn’t you hear me! I pleaded, pleaded! You know I don’t do that often. What’s the problem? This shouldn’t be a big deal. Help me out, I screamed at Her.    Silence.

I gave up, took my blood sugar, and went down to the kitchen for breakfast — thrilling concept. With tears in my eyes, I wrote myself a note to call my DDS for another appointment. I noticed an envelope on the counter. KATHY was written on it, in large, bold letters. Hmmm. Skeptically, I opened it. I didn’t recognize the handwriting, but here’s what it said:  Dear Kathy,    I heard your plea, and I know that you want this dental dilemma to stop. I understand how you feel.  I love to say YES to your requests, but this time my answer has to be NOT YET!  Remember that you’ve gone through much worse situations and came out better for it on the other side. You’ve always learned the “lessons.” Be patient.   Love, God

“WHAT? SHE left me a damn note!” I said aloud.  “Be patient!!!”  

I put the letter back on the counter and began to prepare my breakfast. I started to giggle, and laugh, and then roaring with laughter, I thought, That God, SHE’s got quite a sense of humor.

I put my dishes into the dishwasher and glanced at the clock — 7:45 a.m. — One hour and fifteen minutes until my dentist’s office opens, and I can schedule an appointment.  Be patient,  p a t i  e  n t,  patience,  were the words that flew through my mind. As I went back upstairs, I started to laugh! “PATIENCE.” that’s the lesson!

C’mon, God!    🙂

 

 

BURNOUT!

Diabetes Burnout?  I’ve never heard the term “burnout” used in connection to diabetes.  It makes sense though!

         Keep Walking!   Long Beach, NY

I read an article today by Catherine Price, a journalist who has diabetes and saw myself all over the page.  Maybe that’s my problem.  I hear myself complaining (in my own head, and sometimes to others) that I’m so sick of it, Why me? I just want a piece of cake, or pizza, or bread.  I don’t want to exercise. Waaa, waaa!  I actually bore myself with this whining and complaining.

Price has a good point.  She suggests treating diabetes burnout by removing “junk” (things we need to do) from other areas of our life.  By doing this, we’d make more “mental space” available to take care of the diabetes without feeling overwhelmed. I thought about it.

One of the worst self-inflicted stressors in my life is procrastination.  I can put off doing just about anything, paying my bills in a timely fashion, emptying the garbage, food shopping, gardening, all of which, shortens deadlines, adds more stressors AND fills up my head with “shoulds.” In other words, procrastination leads to negativity.  If I stopped procrastinating about even just ONE area of my life, and completed that task on time, I’d have less stress and more room to be able to do the “right thing in managing my diabetes” — thus, I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed (which leads to neglect of my diabetes). Good idea!

Because diabetes requires constant management, it’s never-ending.  Of course there are times when we feel overwhelmed — I sure feel it — it’s exhausting, and sometimes I just don’t want to “play” anymore!  Feeling bad about it is okay every once in awhile.  I just know that I can’t wallow around in that pond anymore, no good will come from that.

Price says to “nurture yourself.”  She’s right, we all deserve it.  Take the time to do something that will make YOU feel good.  Schedule it into your calendar.  My choice is a massage, sheer heaven. But if you’re not comfortable with that, plan something shorter.  Take a walk, drive to the beach, breathe in that sea air.  30-minutes of self-care will reset your attitude.  You’ll feel better, more in control. By arranging/scheduling breathing space into your non-diabetic life, you’ll realize that not every second has to be focused on diabetes. 15 – 30 minutes spent meditating or practicing yoga is time well spent. Ahhh. Relief.  Sounds good, doesn’t it?  Maybe you’re ahead of the game and you’re already doing it.   If not, what have you got to lose.

I started chair yoga about 6 weeks ago.  Because of an arm injury, I’m unable to practice “regular” yoga, so I took this route.  It’s been wonderful — every Wednesday for one hour!

Catherine Price seems to have a good handle on diabetes burnout.  Click on diabetes burnout for the complete article.