Just when I think I’m under “control,” the SUGAR BEAST drops by. No, he doesn’t just “drop by,” he pushes his way in!
I’m trying to determine whether or not there’s a pattern. I think not. It’s just there — waiting right outside my thoughts. Just waiting and watching for an opening to seep into my T2D brain.
I picture those “openings” as doors with titles above them: TIRED, HUNGRY, ANGRY, to name a few. If any of those doors crack open — even a tiny bit — the SUGAR BEAST is right their waiting to slither in and take over.
Good news: Wednesday, I went to Meyer’s Farm to stock up on some fresh vegetables. When I got home, I put the green and yellow zucchini, the bright red onion, and the peaches into a lovely ceramic bowl. Bad news: They’re still there. 😦
Well, now I’m really annoyed. Annoyed enough to do something about it?YES! I’m going to stomp on the beast, cut up those veggies and transform them into a fabulous side dish for tonight’s dinner. I’ll let you know the result of my creation…
Last week I went for my blood work so my doctor would have it prior to my visit. Friday was my appointment.
She was thrilled. My blood work was great. A1C = 6.6. She was happy, I was disappointed, actually, amazed! “If you saw what I’ve been eating, you’d never believe that’s accurate.” Dr. G responded, “It will catch up to you, you know that.” Yeah, yeah. I didn’t respond — she’s ALWAYS right.
For awhile now, I’ve been taking two Metformin instead of three. My goal is to get off them completely. The ONLY way to do that is to stay on track — no diversions. Lately, I’ve been the Queen of Diversions!
A little over a week ago denial crept in (with a vengeance). I actually ate potato chips and onion dip. 😦 It didn’t kill me, but what a stupid decision. And then there was the pie…cookies… Yes, I didn’t fall off the “wagon” I took a deep-dive plunge. Ugh.
The good news is, I’m back to healthy choices. If I have to have desserts, I’ll be heading to my sugar free Jello or small portions of fresh fruit.
Celebrating with a Gala!
JELLO — Sugar-free and Cook and Serve, Sugar=free pudding. (BLUE box)
Just remember there is such a thing as TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING (fruit can fall right into that category!)
Obviously, I didn’t do too much damage, or 6.6 would have been WAY higher. I absolutely do NOT want to go back to 3 Metformin/day, so I’m re-committing myself again to staying on track — DAMN IT! It’s all about accountability, as always. There’s no hiding those numbers and not taking my blood sugar, is just plain irresponsible. I’m determined.
I know that when I’m dedicated and determined, I get involved in a project using my hands. I know when I do the artsy/craftsy thing, I won’t snack/eat the wrong foods.
I know that when I sit and watch TV, I’m putting myself at risk. Gigunda risk!!! I become bored and troll the cabinets for something “bad.” Rarely do I find anything, because I don’t buy the foods/snacks that I know I shouldn’t be eating. I wish I could tell you that I give up and go back to watching the tube. That would not be true. There are times when I cave. I’ve walked and driven to the corner store or the gas station for a candy bar to “tide me over.” (I sound like a drug addict. Well, sugar IS a drug!) .
Diabetes sucks. Yes, it does. BUT, there are worse diseases, that’s for sure! So, I’ll be grateful and get back on the bike and do the right thing — one day at a time.
This disease is one heck of a roller-coaster, that’s for sure. Better days ahead.
No matter what I do with my Type 2 Diabetes, all roads point back to the BASICS! I know what to do, we all do, correct?
Monitor my blood sugar
It’s just NOT all that difficult, folks, so why my frustration? Sometimes, I just don’t know which direction to go…
Maybe it’s the repetitiveness of it — day in, day out… But, c’mon. People have WAY worse diseases/conditions than diabetes. So much of it is simply an inconvenience, the real issue for me is the cravings. Yes — it’s ALL a pain in the butt, but not an earth-shattering nightmare. Is it diabetes burnout? Is there even such a thing? Yes! (See link)
Look at that! — not really a surprise, but I haven’t read about it (burnout) in a l o n g time.
It’s the answers that count. Here are a few, if you’re “feeling the pain” — (not literally pain, but feeling the burnout of T2D:
*Accept the damn diagnosis! Again. I do think it has to be accepted every day, otherwise, the denial builds up. (Faster than a speeding bullet!)
*DO monitor blood sugar regularly and, yes, a chart helps to keep track. [Putting my big girl pants on and just charting it AGAIN.]
Monitor glucose regularly
*Put on the damn sneakers and move your butt. (That’s called EXERCISE, which in my world is walking, and walking, and walking.) If your exercise of choice is the gym — go for it!
NO!!!!! NOT LIKE THIS! 🙂
[A little levity never hurt.] 🙂
*Eating properly — yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the answer to that might just be changing it up a bit. “It” being the menu. I KNOW I need to work on that, because I’ve been bored to tears with what I’ve been eating lately — and, a lot of the time I’ve been eating on the run. “On the run” has never worked for me, so I’ll be doing some extra planning.
Many posts back, I ended by listing my blood sugar level and my weight. Somewhere along the line, I stopped doing it. What was I thinking? It’s certainly a good practice to keep me on track and accountable. So, I’ll be doing it again — starting right now:
Blood Sugar: 109 Weight: 149 lbs.
There — I did it!
I have a doctor’s appointment on the 24th, so I’ll see what she has to say about my A1C.
Good luck, folks! From your very DEDICATED and DETERMINED DIABETIC.
Ha! Not MY favorite time of the year, that’s for sure. We got hit with eight inches on Saturday — beautiful, but messy and dangerous.
I was in NYC with my children, celebrating my birthday (NOT revealing the number!). 🙂 We went to the Met to see the exquisite Christmas Tree, sometimes referred to as the Angel Tree, and Neapolitan Baroque Creche. It’s a sight to behold, regardless of the religion you profess (or don’t). It’s art, at its finest. Put it on your calendar for next year. You won’t regret it — I promise!
While we were strolling through the museum, enjoying the VALETIN DE BOULOGNE — BEYOND CARAVAGGIO Exhibit, it was snowing outside; like CRAZY! We were warm, relaxed, and hungry, so we headed to The Petrie Court Cafe, one of the Met’s restaurants, for lunch — so,Let It Snow!
We had worked up an appetite and feasted on food fit for royalty. Most museum food doesn’t do it for me, but our lunch was deeeelicious! I won’t write the specifics — just the thought of our epicurean delights is making me salivate! We were full, and moved on to the remainder of our journey in the museum. Evidently, we walked off that full feeling, because…
Later, after viewing some other exhibits, we returned for dessert. Yes, you heard me right — DESSERT! Something I normally skip when out to lunch/dinner; but, C’mon, it was my birthday. I indulged in a serving of dark, chocolate fudge cake with a small scoop of cappuccino gelato — there go my salivary glands, again! Joking, I said to my kids, “What! No candle?” They chuckled, as my daughter reached into her purse and pulled one out. I laughed knowing they couldn’t light it, but just to be on the safe side, I said, “We’ll get thrown out, if you light that!” At that very moment, my son lit a match and they quickly sung Happy Birthday to You, as I made a wish and blew out the candle!
🙂 That was one of many laughs we had on Saturday. More took place in two Uber rides through the snow (to and from Penn Station), along with a serenade — Happy Birthday to You, just prior to my train’s departure. They made sure that the guests at the restaurant, the visitors and employees at the Met, and the passengers on the train wished me a HB! My stomach hurt from laughing; a multitude of thanks to my chickadees for making yet another birthday — SO much fun. Contrary to research, we believe that a sense of humor is genetic — actually, we know that for sure.
BACK TO WEATHER AND APPETITEand T2D. I don’t know about your inclinations, regarding food and the change in weather, but I know that I definitely BULK UP in winter. Let’s face it, if you live in the “change of season” states, you’ll be cold in the winter months and looking for a nice warm soup or stew, hot coffee or tea. For me, the warm summer weather signals salads and cold drinks.
That being said, it’s been really cold here in the Northeast of the U.S. and so, along with donning my long johns, I HAVE been drinking a lot of herbal tea and eating heavier meals (while monitoring my blood sugar, I might add). HOLY METEOROLOGY! Our temperatures ranged from the 20’s on Saturday (with 8″ of the white stuff), moving up to 46 degrees today (Wednesday), to a predicted possibility of 60 tomorrow!
CRAZY! BEACH WEATHER! So where will that put our food cravings tomorrow? Chicken salad, tuna salad, big fat Greek Salad? Dare I say, ice cream? NOOOOooooo. I won’t go that far. Just as the outdoor plants are getting confused with the roller-coaster weather, our internal barometers may not know which way to direct us in terms of food. But fret not, It’s “suspected” that the thermostat will take a dive into the 20’s come Saturday, and then rise up once again during next week.
What to eat? That is the question — not Shakespeare!
It matters not the weather (feeling British), the bottom line is that this Type 2 Diabetic must stay on track — regardless of the barometer.
Monitor blood sugar levels
Exercise — in my case, walk, walk, WALK
Eat properly (Yes, we ALL know what that means!)
Monitor glucose regularly
Enjoy the journey, folks. We’re going to be just fine, 🙂 despite the weather.
That’s how I’ve been feeling — in a funk. Tired, aggravated with the world, you know the deal. We’ve all been there.
Not being a very patient person,…I want/need OUT of this feeling,NOW! Ah, patience. Not one of my virtues. I guess I’m frustrated because I’ve been working hard at beating the hell out of my T2D, desperately trying to get off the medication. I expected to feel great by now (always in a rush…) I have a B12 deficiency, so I had the blood work done yesterday to determine if that’s the issue at hand. I hope so. That’s an easy fix.
When I got up this morning, I headed for John’s Farms for some fish— “brain food,” right? Maybe that’ll help. I bought swordfish, which I LOVE grilled. Next, I drove to my absolute favorite local farm — Meyer’s. I stocked up on some of their fantastic zucchini — the golden zucchini is amazing. I swear the attraction for me is the color, not just the taste. They’re such a rich, golden shade of yellow — beautiful. 🙂
Thanks to my nephew, Keith, (I like to refer to him as “Farmer Keith”). He’s got some “Green Thumb!” Thanks, Keith, for an outrageous supply of bright red, scrumptious, cherry tomatoes. Mouthwatering — OMG — they’re incredible! I could eat them like candy, but — oops, oh yeah, diabetes. I paired these jewels of his “farm” with some amazing zucchini, and the result was a casserole that, at this very moment, smells FANTABULOUS!!! Can’t wait ’til it comes out of the oven.
Do you hear a change in my “tone?” I do. Just taking the actions that I took today, are causing an improvement in my attitude. Music helps too — Hoping the “Funk” departs — SOON!
Watch for my next post. I’ll include a photo of the finished product. If it’s tasty, I’ll include the recipe! 🙂
The goal of this Type 2 Diabetic has been to GET OFF THE MEDICATION!!! Yes, I AM screaming — at myself. My frustration level when my doctor increased the dosage of Metformin to three a day, was overwhelming. I did this to myself kept popping through my head, and it was true! I had been playing games — how much can one piece of cake hurt? The answer is…PLENTY!
FINALLY, I’ve been making progress. It is due in part to my “dental dilemma” — hard to gain wait, if you can’t chew. The problem is that during that time period, I realized that cake’s easy to chew. 🙂
Bottom line is that I was determined to get my act together. I worked on eating healthy foods, portion control (MOST important), and exercise. Don’t get excited. In my world, exercise does NOT include going a gym. Get a grip. No, there will be no sweating, weeping, and gnashing of teeth. NO, no, no — I walk. That’s it — just walk. But, guess what? It works! Try it. Take your blood sugar prior to walking and then again when you return. It’s pretty amazing. It’s been brutally hot here in the
northeast, which gave me a great excuse to stop hoofing it. However, I let my conscience be my guide and got back on track. I’m not a 5-days a week yet, but I’m building my way back up. Truth is, I live near a mall which is air conditioned. It’s a perfect place to walk in the difficult weather of both winter and summer — so there is NO excuse.
When I’m truly determined to do something, I can move mountains — and believe me, I was determined. Here’s what happened: I went to my doctor last week who was ecstatic. Why? My A1C was 5.8!!!! I practically jumped off the table, I was so excited. She shared my joy. She asked how I did it, and I told her. (Not wanting to take all the credit for my disciplined behavior, I explained the effect my dental dilemma had on my appetite.) She was thrilled. I explained that I had lowered the dosage of Metformin from 3/day to two, because the three, along with what I was doing, was too much and I wasn’t feeling well. For the most part, I was taking just two. She told me to continue consistently with two and, if that became too much (I’d know it), decrease it to one. In three months we’ll see where I am and what the next step will be. Here were her words, and they were MUSIC TO MY EARS — “At this moment, you are in a non-diabetic state.” Did she say non-diabetic? YES, she did!
Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m not a diabetic — it simply means that the blood work indicated those results at that moment. What did this do for me? It made me even more MOTIVATED! Now I’m really on a roll. The thought that there’s a real possibility that I may be able to get off the medication, brings tears to my eyes. I have been working hard to hear those words, but I’ll be working even harder now.
My last post, I believe, was written on April 3. It was a period of time during which I was feeling beyond stressed out. From that point until today, I haven’t been able to write a word. Nothing.
My brother was very ill and passed away on April 6th. (R.I.P., Joseph D. Masterson). My life came to a screeching halt. Those of you who have experienced profound loss, know that there’s a fog that seems to descend upon you and engulf your very being. You walk, talk, function, but it’s amid a bubble that seems to envelop you — at least that’s the way it’s been for me.
My “writer friends” told me to write it out; I couldn’t. They said it would be cathartic. I didn’t want that — I wanted him back. Now. For just one more conversation, one more laugh. Of course, that’s not going to happen.
In the part of his eulogy that I wrote, I thanked him for the impact he had on my life. It was huge. He taught me not only to understand Shakespeare, but to LOVE him. I mentioned Hemingway, Steinbeck and a host of other authors to whom he “introduced” me. He taught me to fight AGAINST discrimination and FOR feminism. Respecting the opinions of others is a great lesson to learn from an older sibling. There was that — and SO much more.
My brother was a Type 2 Diabetic (insulin dependent) who chose not to control his diet. I only hope that I learn from his mistakes. I promised myself that I will follow a healthy diet and exercise, in a effort to control my diabetes — as a tribute to him.
This segment of Lessons Learned (A.) is about the impact of the loss of a loved one on the monitoring of my diabetes. Maybe I should say the LACK of monitoring. No appetite. NONE. I forced myself to eat to the best of my ability during these weeks. I learned that sadness robbed me of my appetite, my everything. I kept telling myself that I HAD to eat because of this damned disease — and I did. Not much, but I did.
24 days have passed since my brother left this earth, and as I write this post, I realize that I’m doing exactly what he would NOT want me to do. So, as of tomorrow, May 1st, I will do what I need to do to stay healthy. I’ll do it, with tears in my eyes; but, I’ll do it.