There’s always a Silver Lining…

I’ve been sick. You know, “praying for death” sick. ūüė¶

Some evil “stomach bug” crept into my system and took over. You don’t want the details. My blood sugar was all over the place. I tried the “natural” route, but I was only able to live in one room in my house (…the room with the echo), so finally, I called my doctor who told me to only eat crackers, dry toast (if I’m hungry — which I’m not), and drink 1/2 water and 1/2 Low Calorie Gatorade for a few days, to avoid dehydration and to give my intestines a break. In the end (no pun intended), I was in the waiting room of a gastroenterologist. She sent me for a ton of tests, the results of which I won’t get ’til Thursday, if I’m lucky.

But, she also gave me a medicine that “calmed” everything down, in the meantime. Thank God!!! That pain was a killer — my poor body. She wanted me to eat more; the thought was disgusting. She added plain chicken, turkey, baked potato. Ugh. She was right, eating a bit more did help.

With every situation, we learn something, right? (Not that I haven’t learned this before…) When I have a stomach issue, I hate the thought of food — including, my addictive junk foods. It’s been 8 days now and I haven’t had a thought about (my drug of choice) sugar. Nothing, Nada. I feel like I’ve been in a rehab for carboholics/sugar addicts.

Do you know what? The Sugar Beast had nothing to do with my being ill but, I’m going to take advantage of this situation, grab onto my proverbial detox and hold on for dear life!

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Seriously, regardless of the results of the testing, I want to be done with sugar — SO DONE. Being sick just brought this to the forefront of my mind (again, I say again!). This Type 2 Diabetic’s plan is to do everything in my power to steer clear of it. I know, I know, we’ve all said it before.

I see this “Silver Lining” as a gift,¬†and I’m going to wrap myself in it — like a soft, satin, protective shield. It will be difficult — if anything, I’m NOT naive. I know it’s really hard (at least for me)¬†not to get dragged into a sugar feast, but, the way I’m looking at it, I’ve got a head start, and I’m grateful for it.

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I’ve got the motivation, now I have to get back to developing the habit...AGAIN. Every day really is DAY #1.

My sister’s birthday is coming and that will be my first “real” test. Wish me luck!

I take it back — no “luck” needed. ūüôā

Dr. Visit…

Ugh. I’ve not been looking forward to this.

Last week I went for my blood work so my doctor would have it prior to my visit. Friday was my appointment.

She was thrilled. My blood work was great. A1C = 6.6. She was happy, I was disappointed, actually, amazed! ¬†“If you saw what I’ve been eating, you’d never believe that’s accurate.” Dr. G responded, “It will catch up to you, you know that.” ¬†Yeah, yeah. I didn’t respond — she’s ALWAYS right.

For awhile now, I’ve been taking two Metformin instead of three. My goal is to get off them completely. The ONLY way to do that is to stay on track — no diversions. Lately, I’ve been the Queen of Diversions!¬†

A little over a week ago denial¬†crept in (with a vengeance). I actually ate potato chips and onion dip. ūüė¶ ¬†It didn’t kill me, but what a stupid decision. And then there was the pie…cookies… Yes, I didn’t fall off the “wagon” I took a deep-dive plunge. Ugh.

The good news is, I’m back to healthy choices. If I have to have desserts, I’ll be heading to my sugar free Jello or small portions of fresh fruit.

Just remember there is such a thing as TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING (fruit can fall right into that category!)

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Monitor glucose regularly

Obviously, I didn’t do too much damage, or 6.6 would have been WAY higher. I absolutely do NOT want to go back to 3 Metformin/day, so I’m re-committing myself again¬†to staying on track — DAMN IT! It’s all about accountability, as always. There’s no hiding those numbers and not taking my blood sugar, is just plain irresponsible. I’m determined.

I know that when I’m dedicated and determined, I get involved in a project using my hands. I know when I do the artsy/craftsy thing, I won’t snack/eat the wrong foods.

I know that when I sit and watch TV, I’m putting myself at risk. Gigunda risk!!! I become bored and troll the cabinets for something “bad.” Rarely do I find anything, because I don’t buy the foods/snacks that I know I shouldn’t be eating. I wish I could tell you that I give up and go back to watching the tube. That would not be true. There are times when I cave. I’ve walked and driven to the corner store or the gas station for a candy bar to “tide me over.” ¬†(I sound like a drug addict. Well, sugar IS a drug!) .

Diabetes sucks. Yes, it does. BUT, there are worse diseases, that’s for sure! So, I’ll be grateful and get back on the bike and do the right thing — one day at a time.

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This disease is one heck of a roller-coaster, that’s for sure. Better days ahead.

Back to DAY #1!

 

August 1st — HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)

Monday, August 1, 2016

As promised, this morning, I put my best foot forward — ¬†DAY #1!¬†

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Started out by checking my blood sugar = 106, weight = 137.0 lbs. Continued 3x during the course of the day. Numbers were level.

Drank 4 oz. of V-8 juice.

Walked from 8:30 – 9:15, in between the rain drops.

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Returned home and had breakfast (1/2 peach, 1 slice whole wheat bread/peanut butter) This is the most difficult meal of the day for me. I’m allergic to eggs — everyone’s favorite breakfast food! I’ll be working on finding alternatives for healthy breakfasts.

Jumped in the shower, then off to my writing group  (11 a.m. Р1:00 p.m.)

Dr. app’t 2:00 p.m

Oops — lunch? Didn’t happen. ¬†ūüė¶ ¬† Got to dr. office early. Chinese take out across the street. I ran in and got a cup of chicken/rice soup. (ate half. ¬†It’s something…)

5:00 p.m. — HIT THE BRAKES —¬†Kathy: ¬†You’re diabetic — EAT!

5:30 p.m. — Prepare and eat dinner. (bowl barley, vegetable soup/a few saltine crackers.

7:00 p.m. — Dessert (sugar-free pudding. Dollop of whipped cream).

SLOW DOWNbedtime routine. ¬†This is the most difficult time of the day for me. Why? because most people would refer to it as “bed”time but I’m just getting rolling. My plan is to start to slow down around 8:00 p.m. and actually go to bed at 10:00 p.m. ¬†I brought a cup of chamomile tea to bed with me and started to read. ¬†Perfect, right? It would have been, except that I realized I hadn’t finished my blog. I broke the #1 Sacred Rule of Nighttime Routine — I grabbed my laptop. Ugh. I know better than that! Quickly, I finished this post and now, it’s off to bed for this Type 2 Diabetic.

A quick spray or two of my Lavender and Vanilla Pillow Mist, and off to sleep I go.

Tomorrow? I’ll start over and improve each aspect all the way through the day!

Sleep tight!

 

 

Inspiration!

Saturday, July 30, 2016

MONDAY is August 1st, and I have a great idea!

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In my last post, I discussed logging my blood sugar levels (and my weight — forgot that one), my food intake, walking — everything possible to keep my regimen on track and working like a well-oiled machine. I am well aware that none of this is NEW to this Type 2 Diabetic.

My great idea is this — I will consider August, the NEW YEAR! Yep — like every January, starting over. I know every day is Day #1 on this Diabetes Trail but, for me AUGUST will be MY new year! I’ll be doing all the things noted above to get back on track (again) and August will be the month for me to take care of myself. Then, I’ll move that process into the other eleven months of the year.

I just started a list for Monday:

  1. Call for an appointment for a massage! I feel better already! Usually, when I go for a massage, I buy a package of three. It’s NOT inexpensive, but I’m worth it! Also, I know that, if I have them already purchased, I’ll really go. ¬†So, THAT’S #1 on my list. ¬†(Everyone is different, so check with your doctor.)
  2. Call for an appointment to get my hair cut and colored. I’m going to be broke after the first week of August is over but, Oh Well. ¬†Again, I’m worth it, damn it! ūüôā
  3. Call for a nail appointment! Manicure and pedicure — top to bottom. ūüôā

 

TAKING CARE OF #1…………………………………………………THAT WOULD BE ME!

 

Reassessing Acceptance

Second Post for Jan. 28th, 2016

So, I’ve been contemplating whether or not I REALLY¬†accept the “fact” that I have diabetes, OR am I in denial? ¬†Hmmm. ¬†I thought I had this down pat.

I remember well, when I accepted that I had this disease and that I could manage it, and that it wouldn’t be a big deal. Doing EVERYTHING right, I called myself the “poster person for diabetes.” But that didn’t happen until I went through many stages, some of which I’ll mention. ¬†These are all very normal and typical, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

The anger,¬†(This is crap! Why me?). I actually¬†ate AT the diabetes. (While stuffing cake and cookies down my throat, I remember thinking,¬† I’ll show you!) ¬†Needless to say, that didn’t work out well.

The bargaining (O.K., so maybe I have it. ¬†I’ll just cut down on the carbs, and I’ll be off the hook. ¬†I’ll be fine. ¬†C’mon God, work with me.).

The denial stage is wicked (NOT ME; NO WAY! NO, NO, No! ¬†The lab made a mistake.) …and the beat went on and on and on, until FINALLY — ACCEPTANCE!

WHY then, after all this time, am I floundering, doubting? Why is acceptance even an issue or something that I would be discussing, at this point?

Simple. What I didn’t realize was that because you HAVE acceptance, does NOT mean you’ll keep it! ¬†Acceptance, it seems, is fragile. If I’m not as vigilant as I should be, acceptance can slip away.

Over the years, I’ve learned the importance of education in relation to diabetes. I spent a great deal of time today reading about diabetes. ¬†I have LOTS of what I refer to as “spiritual reading,” on the topic. ¬†ūüôā ¬† ¬†Books — TONS of them. ¬†Article, after article (including the ones noted, via the links on this page). ¬†It helped. It clarified what I already knew, and brought it right to the front of my mind where it belongs. The information is important, it’s a tool, sometimes a weapon, to defend my health. If you are struggling, I highly recommend going back to the resources that you have. Read, read, read.

I know, we all know, that we have to keep our diabetes management right at the forefront of our minds.  I HAS to be the most important thought that enters my head.

Are you familiar with Steve Harvey? ¬†I’ve read his books, and I love his positive attitude. Today, I heard him say,¬†“Inch by inch, everything’s a cinch!” ¬†Isn’t that the truth? ¬†One step at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time.

** Now that I’ve “reassessed” whether or not I really have diabetes, I’m laughing at myself. ¬†How absurd! Of course I do. But, trust me, that denial just creeps in when you least expect it. ¬†BE AWARE!

Moving on — tomorrow will be another Day #1!

“Slipped” on the ice…

O.K., maybe not on the ice. ¬†I “slipped” on some cookies ¬†ūüė¶

I went to the doctor for my 3-month Diabetes checkup today. ¬†Everything was great. No surprise to me — I’ve been eating correctly, monitoring my blood sugar, and walking. ¬†Things have been looking up! ¬†She was happy, I was happy.

So, why is it that when I went to the store to get ice melt (FREEZING here in the northeast), ¬†I came out with JUNK? ¬†Why, why, why? ¬†AND, why didn’t I take out my Grapefruit Oil and smell it, in an effort to avoid the craving. ¬†WHY?????

UGH, SO frustrating.

Driving home, I never gave a thought as to what I’d purchased. ¬†When I started to put the items away, that’s when the realization smacked me RIGHT IN THE FACE! ¬†I was really upset and disappointed in myself. ¬†But evidently, not enough to toss the cookies and those cheddar crackers that I like so much into the garbage. ¬†Nope — I had 4 — count ’em, 4 chocolate chip cookies and a small bowl of the crackers. ¬†Truth? They tasted great! ¬†That was around three o’clock. By 4, the carb coma took over, and I had a “nap.” ¬† When I woke up, dinner time was approaching, and naturally I wasn’t hungry. The rest of the night brought misery — you know the deal. ¬†Remorse, embarrassment, anger, blah, blah, blah.

“Get a grip, Kathy!” I yelled at myself. ¬†That’s when I tossed “Satan’s food” into the garbage. ¬†Guilt: ¬†“There are people starving in this world, and you’re throwing out food?” Phrases such as this ran through my head. ¬†Thankfully, my answer was a resounding YES! ¬†Guilt is a wasted emotion, negative and hurtful. There’s no positive purpose in feeling guilty. I’m over it!

It’s kind of interesting how the brain works. ¬†I seem to crave sugar if I’m down, bored, hungry; but also, when I’m “up,” — like today. ¬†I was happy that all was well in my diabetes realm, so I guess I let my guard down. ¬†Lesson Learned!

It’s 11 p.m. now, and I’ll be going to bed soon with the knowledge that tomorrow will be another Day One. ¬†I’ll get up, eat breakfast, go to the mall — and walk, walk, walk. The good news is that I’m confident that tomorrow will be a good day. ¬†I’ve already written two post-its that I’m going to put on the dashboard of my car. ¬†One is a reminder; it simply says, GRAPEFRUIT! to remind me not to “slip,” and to use the tools I have. ¬†Written on the other post-it is one word: ¬†NO! Also, a simple reminder.

At the end of each day, I reflect on what took place during the course of my day that was positive and what was negative. ¬†I’ll review my “slip,” learn from it, and then I’ll let it go. Tomorrow’s another day in the life of this dedicated diabetic, and it’s going to be a GOOD one.

 

EVERYDAY IS DAY ONE

Friday, May 29, 2015

Ugh!

Today was pitiful. Some days I just can’t get it together — today was that day. Other than drinking a lot of water, I did absolutely nothing right in the food department. Nothing. Not a vegetable in sight. No fruit, no walking, nothing positive. It was bad, really bad.

So, finally, at about four o’clock, I put my big girl pants on, wiped the sugar off my mouth, and headed out to the food store. Enough of this crap, Kathy — grow up, I said to myself.

Everyday IS Day One — no matter what!

Shopping as a diabetic high on carbs, is hilarious. (Well, depending on your perspective.) I found myself complaining about the price of apples. Mind you, I wasn’t bemoaning the price of cookies, when I bought that garbage this morning. Stop it; just buy them, the healthy me cried. I did — Galas, Goldens, Honeycrisps, and Braeburns –– two of each! I love the variety.

Moving on to the fish department, I stood in front of the counter, staring at each one straight in the eye. “You’re WAY to expensive! Ridiculous!”¬† Interesting, each looked back at me, but none of them replied. “What? Salmon, swordfish, flounder can’t speak? What’s the problem? No backbone? Stand up for yourself!”¬† Alas, each remained horizontal, basking in the coolness of the ice; ignoring my rant. The fishmonger looked away.

Because I resented their “attitude,” I decided to buy them. “I’ll have one of this, two of that, cut that in half, please.” I ran up the bill — I’ll fix them; I’ll eat them — every damn one of them, I screamed, in my own head.

Exhausted, I stepped over to the vegetables. Do you know what asparagus cost? Get over it!  I did, and I filled my cart with a variety of incredible colors. A veritable rainbow of vegetables.

When I returned home, I took a quick nap (carb coma, I guess). Then, into the kitchen to prepare an epicurean delight on which to base another Day One. For me Day One can begin at any time of the day — as long as it begins.

Tomorrow will be another day. I will start out on the right foot, and move through the day making wise food decisions. This DEDICATED DIABETIC will move forward, one day at a time, sometimes one meal at a time, determined to win this battle. My blood sugar will drop to an appropriate level, thanks to the walk I will take first thing in the morning. All will be well.

I am determined and definitely dedicated to bringing this disease under control!