Imagine my excitement! Maybe not… WHY can’t I seem to get it together?
I’ve been a Type2 diabetic for a long time. There have been periods of UP’s which have been motivating, and then there are those segments of time that have been
You might have decided that the one where I presently “reside” is DOWN. You’d be correct. I thought about it, talked about it, wrote about it, but ALAS — no solution.
About a year ago, maybe longer, I bought a journal that was designed specifically to monitor one’s glucose. I started out with a BANG — and ended with a whimper. I’ve given this dilemma another “look see” recently and have decided that part of the problem is perfectionism. 🙂 Pretty funny as I am acutely aware that I am far from perfect. I have recognized, though, that when I start something, and I don’t continue religiously, I get aggravated at myself and toss whatever it is aside.
(Within my head, there’s a battle — much screaming and yelling — “GROW UP, JUST DO IT, BLAH, blah.). Finally, I put a stop to it and get back on the (proverbial) wagon.
The holidays are upon us — soon! That is a time that’s difficult for all diabetics. I’ve decided to go into “training.” Seriously, I’ve begun logging my numbers, food, steps. Trust me, I’m NOT happy about it, but I’m doing it anyway. 😦
I hate it when people say, “Life just got in the way…” Nonsense! I LET it drag me in other directions. It’s called PROCRASTINATION. I could make excuses all day long, but in the end, procrastination reigned.
Why would I put off writing my blog? I LOVE to write! I HATE diabetes, though, so writing about it, became an issue. I asked myself, Why? I’ve been doing it for years! Does the “WHY” really matter at this point? I’ve decided that, “NO, it does NOT matter.” I’m moving on.I’m back to being “one” with my T2D. I let my routines get out of hand and of course you know what that means. (Dive into a vat of chocolate!)
I have the best doctor on the planet — she’s amazing! I went a couple of weeks ago for my 3-month diabetes check up. She looked at my numbers, and said, “WHAT have you been doing?” I responded, “eating.” She gave me that over the glasses look. “Well, I’ve been eating everything that’s not nailed down. I actually walked into a bakery — ME in a bakery! It wasn’t pretty.” She had a one word response: “Why?” I told her that, “evidently, I’m a stress eater.” She rolled her eyes, letting me know that — we knew that. Stress has always been a trigger. We talked about what was stressing me out,and how to best handle the issue. What she didn’t do was make me feel worse. Instead, she encouraged me to get back on track, write what I’m eating, and note my blood sugar before and after meals, and WALK. “You can do this,” were her parting words. I left her office feeling better.
I was in a funk, so my new found optimism was rapidly sliding down. The good news is I didn’t let it take control. I went food shopping WITH a list, went home and promised myself that the funk will not take control again. I am addicted to sugar, so one of the first things I did when I got home, was to make some sugar-free Raspberry Jello. It helps when the craving gets bad. I’d bought fish — flounder stuffed with crabmeat, swordfish, and salmon. I love fresh lemon squeezed over the fish. I divided my treasure into portions and froze them. I’ll be fine — One Day at a Time.
The most important step that I took, was getting back to writing my blog. Writing is cathartic and when I get responses, I feel uplifted.
Oh! Humor is good too. It gets those endorphins pumping. 🙂
Good luck with your diabetic journey. You’ll be hearing from me soon. XOXO to all of you who are working hard and sending good vibes to those of you who are not. We’ve all been there,
I’ve been doing THIS for a long time! You’d thing going out for dinner wouldn’t be a big deal. Ha! MOST OF THE TIME, it isn’t, but if I’m in a funk, I tend to want to eat dessert first —- life is short, after all… When I’m okay (thinking positively), it’s not a problem. Then, there are those days when I convince myself that I’m making much ado about nothing.
Truth. It’s NOT nothing. T2D is not a joke, not something to be dismissed. So, in as much as I want to let that evil Sugar Beast in, I’m NOT going to. Evil *!@#!***
I really think that waaaay back, when I was first diagnosed, I convinced myself that I’d handle this “diabetes nonsense” and move on with my life. How naive was I? I knew then, and I still am acutely aware that Type 2 Diabetes is here to stay, and the harder I fight it, the worse I feel.
I used the word feel, because it isn’t only a physical issue, it’s also an emotional one. That’s the hardest part for me. I’m definitely a “stress eater,” My emotions send my appetite into high gear, when life hits the fan.
We all have choices! For me, making a conscious decision to choose wisely is where it all starts. I need to:
STOP —- Slow down and get a grip
THINK —-What outcome do I want from my decision?
BREATHE —-Deep breaths are imperative in order to stop and think before making an important decision.
Yes, eating that piece of cake is an important choice. It’s trivial to non-diabetics, but for me, it’s imperative to do the right thing. Most of the time, choosing to have dessert is not the end of the world (in my case), but importantly, I don’t want that decision to be the one that sends me over the cliff.
Seriously. I’ve been able to treat my diabetes with diet, exercise, and one medication. Pretty good, I’m told. Here’s the thing — making a lifestyle out of eating the wrong things, lack of exercise, and failing to take my medication properly, WILL send me on the road to insulin. I don’t want that!
I don’t consider taking a little more insulin, or an extra pill, will make it okay for any diabetic to “cheat” on decisions regarding food choices. That’s a game I don’t want to play because, I know that I won’t come out the winner. I’m VERY competitive. If it’s between me and diabetes —- trust me, I’LL WIN! I’ll succeed each and every day, by using the tools that I have.
Lately, I’ve been having difficulty with food choices. Ugh, it’s a killer. But, I’m living one day at a time, one choice at a time, and relief is on it’s way. I feel it. That cloud is starting to lift, if ever so slowly. I’m fighting to be able to follow the healthy road I’ve chosen for myself.
No need to rush —- slowly, carefully, I’m getting back on track. I CAN DO IT — and so can you.
Made it through the Valentine torture — you know what I mean! EVERYWHERE you go those damn red hearts follow. Filled with those delicious candies. Ugh.
I tried to convince myself that the boxes are heart-shaped for a reason, and that reason is to remind me to take good care of my heart! For the most part, I was pretty successful. For instance, if I have to pick up a prescription, I go through the drive-up window. It’s the only sane thing to do. The minute I walk into Walgreens, the chocolate attacks me — it’s everywhere! So, I don’t go in.
Now, here we are again — chocolate bunnies wherever I look. Torture to this Type 2 diabetic. Just one won’t kill you, I tell myself. HA! When did I ever eat one of anything? It’s over tomorrow. Then there will be no more chocolate bunnies stalking me.
I can do it!
Happy Easter and Happy Passover to all! Good luck.
On December 29th, someone told me that the way in which you end a year will determine how your new year will be. This T2D doesn’t believe a word of it! Nothing. Nada. I’ve had vertigo for two days along with an evil virus. That’s the way I ended 2017. Ugh. NO WAY will 2018 be like that for me — absolutely not!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It’s 7:50 p.m. on Monday, January 1st, 2018. The vertigo and evil virus left this morning, as 2018 entered my life.
Thinking positively and looking forward to a WONDERFUL 2018!
Controlling my blood sugar is #1 on my list of positive things focus on. Healthy eating choices, exercise, and meditation.