Lessons Learned… (A.)

Saturday, April 30, 2016

My last post, I believe, was written on April 3.  It was a period of time during which I was feeling beyond stressed out. From that point until today, I haven’t been able to write a word. Nothing.

My brother was very ill and passed away on April 6th. (R.I.P., Joseph D. Masterson). My life came to a screeching halt. Those of you who have experienced profound loss, know that there’s a fog that seems to descend upon you and engulf your very being. You walk, talk, function, but it’s amid a bubble that seems to envelop you — at least that’s the way it’s been for me.

My “writer friends” told me to write it out; I couldn’t. They said it would be cathartic. I didn’t want that — I wanted him back.  Now.  For just one more conversation, one more laugh. Of course, that’s not going to happen.

In the part of his eulogy that I wrote, I thanked him for the impact he had on my life. It was huge.  He taught me not only to understand Shakespeare, but to LOVE him. I mentioned Hemingway, Steinbeck and a host of other authors to whom he “introduced” me. He taught me to fight AGAINST discrimination and FOR feminism. Respecting the opinions of others is a great lesson to learn from an older sibling.  There was that — and SO much more.

My brother was a Type 2 Diabetic  (insulin dependent) who chose not to control his diet. I only hope that I learn from his mistakes. I promised myself that I will follow a healthy diet and exercise, in a effort to control my diabetes — as a tribute to him.

This segment of Lessons Learned (A.) is about the impact of the loss of a loved one on the monitoring of my diabetes.  Maybe I should say the LACK of monitoring. No appetite. NONE. I forced myself to eat to the best of my ability during these weeks. I learned that sadness robbed me of my appetite, my everything. I kept telling myself that I HAD to eat because of this damned disease — and I did. Not much, but I did.

24 days have passed since my brother left this earth, and as I write this post, I realize that I’m doing exactly what he would NOT want me to do. So, as of tomorrow, May 1st, I will do what I need to do to stay healthy.  I’ll do it, with tears in my eyes; but, I’ll do it.

#luckylittlesister

Lessons Learned (B.)  will be posted tomorrow…

Falling Flat on My Face!

That’s pretty much what I’ve done so far. Falling, getting up, falling again. I’m basing that statement on my numbers. My blood sugar levels hover around the same area, but why, when I’m walking, am I gaining weight? SO frustrating. I’m monitoring my food.

I’d love to attribute this to my not feeling well, but what does that really have to do with it? I’m not “sick sick,” not “go to the doctor sick,” I just feel crummy. No energy. I do know that, at least with me, sometimes when something inside my body is “brewing,” this is how I feel prior to it actually hitting me. Kind of lethargic.

This too will pass.  I bought a get well card for a friend of mine the other day. She has a great sense of humor.  It read, This too will pass then, when you opened the card the words printed were, Kind of like a kidney stone — but, it WILL pass!  🙂  I thought it was pretty funny and, apparently she did as well. A few days later she called me to thank me for the chuckle, and to let me know she’s feeling better.

Doesn’t that statement sum up life beautifully? Whatever is going on in our lives, no matter how we feel, It WILL pass. Sometimes on the fast track, oftentimes, the problem has to creep along before it’s over. The bottom line is it WILL end. It will pass.

So, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I’m picking myself up, and moving on with my regime one day at a time.

Hope you’re doing well.

P.S. Sorry about the lack of photos. Still having computer issues. But, I know it will pass.   🙂

ll4 = Blood sugar            152.1 lbs.  😦

Taking the “Leap”

Monday, February 29, 2016

Happy Birthday to those of you who were born during a leap year!  (Click on that link to check out the history.) Celebrating one’s birthday every four years seems strange to me. I guess I can’t imagine doing that. How must you feel on March 1st when February 28th was the day before, and there was no recognition of your entry to this planet?  Sad? Abandoned? Invisible? I don’t get it.

I have a friend who celebrated her birthday yesterday. She told me that she ALWAYS wished she had been born on the 29th — “A Leap Year birthday is awesome,” she exclaimed! She felt cheated, because the year she was brought into this world was, in fact, a leap year. “One more day! Just one more, and I could feel unique.”

“You’re unique, trust me,” I responded. Still unsure of  her logic, I asked, “Why? I don’t understand — you get ripped off with every passing year; no cake, no presents. How can this be a good thing?”

Laughing, she responded, “It’s simple. I’d feel SPECIAL!” she insisted. “Not abandoned or invisible. And by the way,” she smiled, “I know I’d feel younger. Think about it, with each birthday celebration, I could subtract 3 years!”

Not sure her math was accurate, I went with her theory. “I guess LEAPING from one birthday to the next (four years later) has some advantages.” So, to those of you who have that SPECIAL Leap Year Birthday, I hope you had a wonderful time celebrating today! And just think, four years from now you can do it again.   🙂

I digress — moving on to DIABETES!  The “LEAP” to which I’m referring, is a bold jump,  into making even better choices and a healthier lifestyle.  Are you thinking, “Weren’t we working on that already?”

“Yes, we have been, but I’m suggesting that we take a giant LEAP forward in the management of our diabetes.  MY LEAP will include:  testing more for the next two weeks, watching my patterns more closely, monitoring what goes into my mouth more carefully, paying strict attention to exercising (in my case, walking my butt off). LOGGING ALL OF IT.  What a pain in the …  Maybe, but this T2D can do it for the next two weeks.  I can do that. TWO WEEKS — one day at a time!  C’mon…

At the end of my two week marathon of healthier living, I’ll review what I’ve done. If my numbers are better, and I feel more energetic, my plan is to keep going for the rest of the month. When March comes to an end, I’ll determine if I’m committed enough, dedicated enough, to take the LEAP into April with the same regime. I’m counting on ME.

Let’s face it, what’s more important than a healthy lifestyle?

Want to join me?  TAKE THE “LEAP.”

Blood Sugar = 109      Weight: 150.9   WHAT????

 

 

“DEDICATED..?” Hmmm…

February 25, 2016

So that’s the question that I’ve been asking myself. AM I a dedicated diabetic or not? Make up your mind Kathy!  Either do it or don’t — damn it!

Obviously, I haven’t been too dedicated lately. Oh, I don’t mean to my diabetes — that’s been going along pretty well.  I’m talking about my blogging. You see, the reason I started this blog in the first place was to keep me on track in terms of my diabetes (and hopefully impart some words of wisdom on the topic).  I thought that if I blogged each day — or at least three or four times a week — I’d stay more focused. Obviously, I haven’t been too successful/committed/dedicated lately.  But that’s about to change.

Thanks to Bill at “Simple Living Over 50,” a wonderful blog on WordPress, I’m back on track!  As of this morning, probably around 7 a.m. (it’s 1:15 a.m. now), along with my post, I’ll be listing my blood sugar number and my weight!  Yep, I think it’s a great idea (Thanks, Bill!), and I’m stealing it.  I’ll post both at the end of…well, at the end of whatever comes out of my brain.

Posting my blood sugar, along with my weight, will keep me honest — just another form of accountability, I guess.

Sorry about my lack of pictures, folks.  Planning on getting to Apple to cure this dilemma. Somehow, I just haven’t gotten there; life gets in the way.  No excuses!!!

See you sooner than you think!   🙂

VALENTINE’S DAY! :) OR :( ..?

February 14, 2016

So, how did it go?  Take your blood sugar lately?  🙂

If you feel you’re making all the right decisions — BRAVO! Good for you.  If perhaps that’s not the way your day is moving along, remember — you can always start over. We are only human, so just do your best.

Hey! Maybe you’re not a sugarholic or chocoholic — count your blessings! But, if you are,  you’ll relate to this post, and this time period may be rough for you.  It’s interesting, I’ve found that many of my friends don’t crave sweets. Their “drug of choice” is carbs! Is their a difference?   😦  [Too many links to post.]  If you’re in this category, Google carboholic.  You may be in for a surprise…

For those of us who crave sweets, please — BE ON GUARD against the sales next week.  All those bright, shimmering, pink and red heart-shaped containers, beautifully decorated square and rectangular boxes, that are left over and filled with shiny pieces of chocolate, will likely be 70% off!  I LOVE a good sale, AND, I am a “chocolate addict,” so I know those boxes will be calling me.

Here’s this Dedicated Diabetic’s PLAN  to avoid temptation — I’m simply NOT going into the stores tomorrow.  I just can’t.  I know my limitations. That chocolatey odor will seep from the containers and I’ll hear my name being called — “Kathy, I’m over here.  Buy me — 70% OFF — how can you resist?” UGH! Torture. I seem to be most vulnerable around Halloween and Valentine’s Day, for obvious reasons. My plan is to take my “vulnerable” self as far away from those stores/displays, as is humanly possible.  I have my trusty Grapefruit Oil, always at the ready,  (IMPORTANT:  Check with your doctor; this oil really should not be smelled directly from the bottle — could cause irritation in your nose.  Instead, a drop or two on the palms of your hands, held away from your nose, is the more appropriate method. Check it out before using!).  For the past week or so, I’ve been sniffing away when I even think chocolate, dessert, any tempting delight.  I’ve mentioned it before — I think the odor of the grapefruit oil simply “detours your brain” away from craving the sweets.

My “HEARTfelt” (get it?) suggestion to you, my fellow Type 2 Diabetics:   Make the healthy choices — for yourself.  Begin TODAY, right now. Do it for YOU — the effect will trickle down to those you love. you’ll see.

The good news is the stores will be sold out in two or three days, and “Satan’s Attack” will be over. Ended. Kaput!    🙂

Whew!                              

It can be COMPLICATED —

I’m speaking about my computer “complications” — that’s why I’ve been missing in action for a little while.

NOTHING frustrates me more than when all does NOT go well with my “toys” (laptop, iPad, iPhone).  Ah, yet another addiction.  For some reason, nothing is syncing.  Therefore, I can’t post pictures on my blog, at this time (using some “old” ones — sorry); I’m unable to write and send my work out — e-mail issue (I’ve been doing battle with aol about that).  Why do the companies blame each other? I’m determined that by the weekend, my toys will be back on track!

Okay, my title is “It can be COMPLICATED,” and of course you know that diabetes is complicated — whether it be Type 1 or 2.  I’m Type 2, so that’s what I’ll be discussing, and I’ll be surprised if you can’t relate.  {By the way, I realize that we all DO really know the answers to my questions and reasons for my frustration; somehow, it’s still FRUSTRATING.}

This is not a discussion about the medical complications resulting from diabetes — I’m not there and grateful for it. This is simply a discussion about how complicated and frustrating the management of it can be…and what we can DO about that.

The ups and downs of blood glucose ARE complicated — at least to this Dedicated Diabetic, as proven by many posts to this blog (Diary).  Sometimes it’s simple, I write everything down, walk — my blood sugar goes down = Perfecto!  Other times, I end up in the hospital, for something completely unrelated, I walk the halls like a maniac in an attempt to keep my numbers down.  Result = They go up anyway.  Never fails.

You know how it goes.  I go to bed with a 99 and wake up with a 130!  Am I sleep-eating?  AAarrrggghhh!

It just is the way it is.  It’s a puzzle — even though I’ve read the books, met with the doctors, attended the seminars, blah, blah, blah.  Is this reaction a lack of acceptance? I wonder?  I find it hard to believe, but I’ll be delving into that further in the next few days.

As far as what to “do” about it. I’m just going to keep on keeping on, examining advice from others in this boat, and doing the right things to manage this crazy thing called diabetes.  I AM and will continue to be DEDICATED, determined.

Hey Kathy, I scream out at the top of my lungs — SHUT UP AND BE GRATEFUL!

IMG_3344

…and I am.  Thanks for listening.

Any ideas that work for you??????

🙂

PROGRESS — One-day-at-a-time

Every day is Day #1, but progression, in a positive sense, feels great!

This morning, I took my blood sugar — before I put on my sneakers.  Post-breakfast, and Pre-walk it was 156.  Post walk = 67!

That’s an 89 point drop, PEOPLE!     A round of applause, please.  🙂

Worth celebrating, I’d say; but not with a cake, that’s for sure.  Instead, I poured delicious, clear, spring water, in a cold, frosted, stem glass, accompanied by half of a shiny, bright red, with a tinge of yellow, Gala apple — sliced really thin!  Refreshing and delicious, and I’m NOT being sarcastic.

Water in a "stem."           (Paris)
               Water in a “stem.”
                        (Paris)

Celebrating with a Gala!

Celebrating with a Gala!

Progress = one-day-at-a-time.    It’s all about attitude, right?    IMG_3214