Reassessing Acceptance

Second Post for Jan. 28th, 2016

So, I’ve been contemplating whether or not I REALLY accept the “fact” that I have diabetes, OR am I in denial?  Hmmm.  I thought I had this down pat.

I remember well, when I accepted that I had this disease and that I could manage it, and that it wouldn’t be a big deal. Doing EVERYTHING right, I called myself the “poster person for diabetes.” But that didn’t happen until I went through many stages, some of which I’ll mention.  These are all very normal and typical, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

The anger, (This is crap! Why me?). I actually ate AT the diabetes. (While stuffing cake and cookies down my throat, I remember thinking,  I’ll show you!)  Needless to say, that didn’t work out well.

The bargaining (O.K., so maybe I have it.  I’ll just cut down on the carbs, and I’ll be off the hook.  I’ll be fine.  C’mon God, work with me.).

The denial stage is wicked (NOT ME; NO WAY! NO, NO, No!  The lab made a mistake.) …and the beat went on and on and on, until FINALLY — ACCEPTANCE!

WHY then, after all this time, am I floundering, doubting? Why is acceptance even an issue or something that I would be discussing, at this point?

Simple. What I didn’t realize was that because you HAVE acceptance, does NOT mean you’ll keep it!  Acceptance, it seems, is fragile. If I’m not as vigilant as I should be, acceptance can slip away.

Over the years, I’ve learned the importance of education in relation to diabetes. I spent a great deal of time today reading about diabetes.  I have LOTS of what I refer to as “spiritual reading,” on the topic.  🙂    Books — TONS of them.  Article, after article (including the ones noted, via the links on this page).  It helped. It clarified what I already knew, and brought it right to the front of my mind where it belongs. The information is important, it’s a tool, sometimes a weapon, to defend my health. If you are struggling, I highly recommend going back to the resources that you have. Read, read, read.

I know, we all know, that we have to keep our diabetes management right at the forefront of our minds.  I HAS to be the most important thought that enters my head.

Are you familiar with Steve Harvey?  I’ve read his books, and I love his positive attitude. Today, I heard him say, “Inch by inch, everything’s a cinch!”  Isn’t that the truth?  One step at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time.

** Now that I’ve “reassessed” whether or not I really have diabetes, I’m laughing at myself.  How absurd! Of course I do. But, trust me, that denial just creeps in when you least expect it.  BE AWARE!

Moving on — tomorrow will be another Day #1!

It can be COMPLICATED —

I’m speaking about my computer “complications” — that’s why I’ve been missing in action for a little while.

NOTHING frustrates me more than when all does NOT go well with my “toys” (laptop, iPad, iPhone).  Ah, yet another addiction.  For some reason, nothing is syncing.  Therefore, I can’t post pictures on my blog, at this time (using some “old” ones — sorry); I’m unable to write and send my work out — e-mail issue (I’ve been doing battle with aol about that).  Why do the companies blame each other? I’m determined that by the weekend, my toys will be back on track!

Okay, my title is “It can be COMPLICATED,” and of course you know that diabetes is complicated — whether it be Type 1 or 2.  I’m Type 2, so that’s what I’ll be discussing, and I’ll be surprised if you can’t relate.  {By the way, I realize that we all DO really know the answers to my questions and reasons for my frustration; somehow, it’s still FRUSTRATING.}

This is not a discussion about the medical complications resulting from diabetes — I’m not there and grateful for it. This is simply a discussion about how complicated and frustrating the management of it can be…and what we can DO about that.

The ups and downs of blood glucose ARE complicated — at least to this Dedicated Diabetic, as proven by many posts to this blog (Diary).  Sometimes it’s simple, I write everything down, walk — my blood sugar goes down = Perfecto!  Other times, I end up in the hospital, for something completely unrelated, I walk the halls like a maniac in an attempt to keep my numbers down.  Result = They go up anyway.  Never fails.

You know how it goes.  I go to bed with a 99 and wake up with a 130!  Am I sleep-eating?  AAarrrggghhh!

It just is the way it is.  It’s a puzzle — even though I’ve read the books, met with the doctors, attended the seminars, blah, blah, blah.  Is this reaction a lack of acceptance? I wonder?  I find it hard to believe, but I’ll be delving into that further in the next few days.

As far as what to “do” about it. I’m just going to keep on keeping on, examining advice from others in this boat, and doing the right things to manage this crazy thing called diabetes.  I AM and will continue to be DEDICATED, determined.

Hey Kathy, I scream out at the top of my lungs — SHUT UP AND BE GRATEFUL!

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…and I am.  Thanks for listening.

Any ideas that work for you??????

🙂

“Acceptance”

Monday, September 22, 2014

Once I accepted that I actually had diabetes, I set out to become the poster-person for what I termed, “this miserable disease.”

Not happily, I went on medication. “Not for long,” I told my doctor. Believing that I could do this with diet and exercise, I set about on my journey to lower my blood sugar. Come hell or high water!

No more cakes, cookies, candy, OH, MY! This wasn’t going to be easy, but I was determined. Apples became my salvation — sliced VERY thin (kind of like potato chips, but not). I brought them to work, and devoured them at home. No, it wasn’t the same, but my blood sugar was coming down.

Next on my agenda was exercise. HAHAHAHA! No, really. That’s what they told me to do. This girl was not about to darken the doorway of any self-respecting gym; it just wasn’t going to happen.

I was told that walking, plain old walking, would bring down my blood sugar. I can walk. And walk I did! Evidently, this basic form of exercise has a great effect on belly-fat. Seriously, it was falling off me — probably left in the street somewhere 🙂
You might not have said I was Overweight, but I did need to lose some pounds, and walking did it.

Started WALKING!
Started WALKING!

It wasn’t long before I could see the results. I did notice something else though, my blood sugar was going down and so was I. I began to feel light-headed and sometimes actually passing out. After conferring with my doctor, we decided that I would stop the medication. I did it! I succeeded in lowering my blood sugar through diet and exercise. I thought I was “cured!” Maybe not…