Reassessing Acceptance

Second Post for Jan. 28th, 2016

So, I’ve been contemplating whether or not I REALLY accept the “fact” that I have diabetes, OR am I in denial?  Hmmm.  I thought I had this down pat.

I remember well, when I accepted that I had this disease and that I could manage it, and that it wouldn’t be a big deal. Doing EVERYTHING right, I called myself the “poster person for diabetes.” But that didn’t happen until I went through many stages, some of which I’ll mention.  These are all very normal and typical, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

The anger, (This is crap! Why me?). I actually ate AT the diabetes. (While stuffing cake and cookies down my throat, I remember thinking,  I’ll show you!)  Needless to say, that didn’t work out well.

The bargaining (O.K., so maybe I have it.  I’ll just cut down on the carbs, and I’ll be off the hook.  I’ll be fine.  C’mon God, work with me.).

The denial stage is wicked (NOT ME; NO WAY! NO, NO, No!  The lab made a mistake.) …and the beat went on and on and on, until FINALLY — ACCEPTANCE!

WHY then, after all this time, am I floundering, doubting? Why is acceptance even an issue or something that I would be discussing, at this point?

Simple. What I didn’t realize was that because you HAVE acceptance, does NOT mean you’ll keep it!  Acceptance, it seems, is fragile. If I’m not as vigilant as I should be, acceptance can slip away.

Over the years, I’ve learned the importance of education in relation to diabetes. I spent a great deal of time today reading about diabetes.  I have LOTS of what I refer to as “spiritual reading,” on the topic.  🙂    Books — TONS of them.  Article, after article (including the ones noted, via the links on this page).  It helped. It clarified what I already knew, and brought it right to the front of my mind where it belongs. The information is important, it’s a tool, sometimes a weapon, to defend my health. If you are struggling, I highly recommend going back to the resources that you have. Read, read, read.

I know, we all know, that we have to keep our diabetes management right at the forefront of our minds.  I HAS to be the most important thought that enters my head.

Are you familiar with Steve Harvey?  I’ve read his books, and I love his positive attitude. Today, I heard him say, “Inch by inch, everything’s a cinch!”  Isn’t that the truth?  One step at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time.

** Now that I’ve “reassessed” whether or not I really have diabetes, I’m laughing at myself.  How absurd! Of course I do. But, trust me, that denial just creeps in when you least expect it.  BE AWARE!

Moving on — tomorrow will be another Day #1!

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